The Lions Are The Suckiest Sucks That Ever Sucked

It must suck to go home and talk to your damn weiner kids after work if you play for the Detroit Lions. Even the 1-15 Dolphins weren't this much fun to watch last season. It's not just the fact that the Lions are losing. Anyone can do that. They're keeping it interesting. They're giving teams points by running out of their end zone. Players are stealing other players' luggage. The team is grabbing QBs as they walk by Ford Field. The Matt Millen effect is still at work.

Opposing teams are doing their part to remind the Lions how much they suck. They're beating the shit out of them and they're reinforcing the beatdowns with verbal reminders. It's gotten so bad that Lions players have stopped fighting back.

"[The Jacksonville Jaguars] were cracking jokes," Lions running back Kevin Smith said. "They thought we were a joke. They said we (weren't good). They were saying that to me, that I (wasn't good). And I told them they (weren't good), too. And they said, 'Well, not as bad as (you).' And I said, 'You're right.' (Because) we haven't won one game."

Someone hasn't been pwned like that since Billy Madison pwned that kid for hating on Donkey Kong. "You know something? You suck!" Rod Marinelli might want to consider letting Daunte Culpepper play in the chinchilla coat. There's something to be said for losing in style.