Thursday, April 30, 2009

The Greatest Skateboard Evarrrr

The Scarpar is a creation of some insane aussies who thought that sticking some tank like treads on a skateboard and hooking a motor up to it would be awesome. Well, turns out, they were right and it is pretty damn awesome. This thing can go anywhere except on water, well liquid water that is, not the frozen stuff. Off road, on road, hills, logs, snow, its your freakin skateboard for the next generation. It is...dare we say it...EXTREME SKATEBOARDING! Or somethin. Here's some video if it in action. Watch it...IF YOU CAN HANDLE IT. ARRRRRGH!

I love this classic video of a weatherman who needs to take a break RIGHT NOW. Brought back to life from Pwned video.

Granny Yoga Instructor Will Teach You A Thing or Two

This woman, Bette Calman of Melbourne, Australia, is 83 years old and still teaching yoga, which she has done for the past 40 years.
“You're never too old,” Calman [said]. “The body is a remarkable instrument. It can stretch and stretch, and get better all the time.”

Here's more of the flexi-granny

Why am I posting this you ask? Well because these are some freaky-ass pictures of course. That, and I know what you're thinking...and God is not happy with you. You dirty freak.

From Fox News

Awesome video of a soccer coach giving his own player a beat down here from the good folks at Dirty Tackle

McEnore and Mayne Back At It Again

Another big sporting event is coming along with the Kentucky Derby and Kenny Mayne and John McEnroe are back at their shtick again goofin around and helping to promote a healthy prostate. Last time they were all about the NCAA tourney now its all about horses of course. Actually, there are some decent facts in this video about the racing that is, not sticking fingers up asses. Enjoy the video and if you're old, do us all a favor, get yourself checked out why don't you.

For more info about the 50 over 50 challenge head here.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

A Roller Skating Jam Called Ziggy

Pittsburgh Steelers first-round draft pick Evander "Ziggy" Hood spent his high school years serving food to customers at a Sonic in Amarillo, Texas. He did it while on roller skates. 
"I could pretty much do everything, from flipping patties to car hopping, riding around on roller skates," Hood said.
There's nothing more dead sexy than a defensive lineman car hopping in short shorts and roller skates.

**Are there any Sonic restaurants in the NYC area? I see commercials for them all the time but I've never seen a Sonic.

Derek Fisher Left His Stalker In El Segundo

Derek Fisher's finally big time. He got himself a stalker. Really? That's one step above stalking Andray Blatche. No, that's wrong. Blatche stalks hookers. 

Fisher convinced a court to issue a restraining order against Symone Fisher who he accuses of stalking him. All she did was send mix cds, emails and letters to him claiming to be his wife. There's also the showing up at the Lakers' El Segundo training facility thing. If God wants them to be together, who's Fisher to argue?  Symone changed her last name to Fisher so it must be real love. He gotta get it.

John Facenda Must Be Rolling In His Grave

The Autumn Wind is no longer a pirate. It is no longer a Raider. It is a devastating nuclear wind that foreshadows a new axis of evil on the horizon. NFL fans can finally have it their way and combine their loves of football and Crocs. In the name of NFL Films, what marketing evil has the NFL wrought? The league has lost its damn mind.

Crocs are an abomination. When George Bush spoke about ridding the world of evil, he should have included Crocs along with the "terrorishts". When you think of the one thing NFL fans are missing, Crocs don't come to mind. If they do, ask someone to punch you in the larynx.

Maybe the winner on the left would rock the Crocs.

The Black Hole isn't the same with Crocs. The correction clogs with a strap don't imply malice and ill humor. They don't say pillaging just for fun. They say "I can't do clogs because I slide out of them when I look up." Roger Goodell should have presented Darrius Heywood-Bey with Raider Crocs instead of a hat and jersey at the NFL Draft. They would have symbolized the breath-taking cauldron of buffoonery that is the Oakland Raider organization. 

The NFL, Crocs and the Raiders along with every other team represented should be ashamed. The Bengals on Hard Knocks will make me feel better. The following will have to do until the premiere.

Love Taliban-style? Everyone can get down with this kind of flogging.

Swine Flu Is A Weapon

I don't know nuthin' bout no swine flu. All I know is that I got me some swine fever and I'm lovin' it. Bacon up that sausage? Way ahead of you. On the other hand, Manchester United better know and be ready for some swine flu when they take on Arsenal in a Champions League semi-final match later today.

Arsenal travel to Old Trafford this evening to take on English rivals Manchester United. The competition offers the Gunners their last chance to win silverware this season and they're taking no chances. That doesn't mean manager Arsene Wenger is tempting United's youth contingent with a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile. He has a secret weapon in the form of Mexican Carlos Vela who was quarantined due to worries about swine flu.

Vela was recently allowed to rejoin his Arsenal teammates in training after fears of swine flu infection lead to his ban from training. He was visited by several friends from Mexico which lead to fears of swine flu infection. Teabagging Wayne Rooney might be a bit obvious. Don't be surprised to see Vela attempt to spoon Ronaldo and cough in his face during one of his many dives. 

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Tebow Mania In Florida Spawns New Underwear

Tim Tebow didn't declare himself eligible for the NFL Draft that passed this last weekend, so the good state of Florida can continue it's love affair with the Heisman winning quarterback for one more year. One more sexy sexy year. Now ladies, you can show your support for the God fearing quarterback by wearing some Tebow inspired...undies. Naturally, they're called Teebows.

See, they've got T's on them and bows and they're actually in the shape of a T and they're in Florida's colors! Its about the next best thing to getting a tramp stamp of his name above your crack!

Go get you some UF fans.

From Teebows

Lets Hope Rodman Has Saved Some Cash

Dennis Rodman has been ordered to pay, former Hard Rock Casino employee, 28 year old Sara Ure $225,000 for grabbing, forcing to dance and slappin' that ass in front of her subordinates at the casino in March 2006. Apparently, Rodman didn't think the lawsuit was worth his time and he never showed up in court, allowing U.S. District Court Judge Robert C. Jones to issue a default judgment against Rodman. Whoops, your bad yo.

That is one expensive dance and he didn't even get to go into the champagne room! The horror!! Lets all hope he's got the cash for this, otherwise, we'll be seeing much more of him on tv than we already are on Celebrity Apprentice...oh wait, he got booted already? Hmm...well, he did win the $222,000 grand prize of the 2005 Celebrity Mole and did make countless millions in the NBA as a player so lets hope the guy has some of it left to pay this little thing off. If not, maybe he can make a sequel to Double Team?

Oh dear God no...

From Daily Herald

Randy Moss FTW!

Randy Moss Motorsports has gotten its first win. Yes, it is a strange day when we post about NASCAR Truck Racing, but ya know, its Randy Moss' team so cut us a little slack. Mike Skinner was the driver who delivered RMM's first win on the circuit last night despite wretched weather which caused two weather delays and a shortned race.

Skinner (there on the right) has some big dreams for the future of Randy Moss Motorsports after this win:
"We got us one. It's just really, really cool," Skinner said. "We have a lot of effort going on here to build this whole program at Randy Moss Motorsports. We're just going to keep digging and hopefully we can get another one or two of these things before the year is out."

Yes, one or two more wins. Way to reach for the stars Skinner. But really, what do I know about NASCAR? Nothing at all. I do know that this is probably a better investment of Randy's money than say thoroughbred racing or something. I wonder if more players are going to try something like sponsoring a team in the future.

Not like Gilbert sponsoring a video game team, that is just crazy, I can just foresee someone like Albert Hayensworth buing into a NASCAR team with his 100 million dollar contract...just pray they're more better than he is behind the wheel. It could be a new trend! I mean, Joe Gibbs has done pretty well with it, why not some more athletes! Screw that dying industry of horse racing or opening restaurants with your name on it that are doomed to fail, get in on the not as badly dying industry of automobile racing! GIT R DONE!! Or something...

From USA Today

Ever wanted to know the proper way to break in a baseball glove? Let the Art of Manliness tell you.

Mike Leach Doesn't Like Stephen McGee

Former Texas A&M quarterback and newly drafted Dallas Cowboy Stephen McGee apparently made a few enemies while in college and one of them was Texas Tech coach Mike Leach...who says that his A&M coaches didn't much like him either.

When asked to comment on the Cowboys' drafting McGee, Leach had this to say about the move:
"I'm happy for Stephen McGee," Texas Tech coach Mike Leach said. "The Dallas Cowboys like him more than his coaches at A&M did."

Well, it is possible he does like him and that isn't some not so subtle backhanded slap at the young QB...but I doubt it. Maybe Leach is just bitter his QB Graham Harrell didn't get drafted.

From Dallas Morning News Cowboys Blog

Lets Hope Matthew Stafford Reads D's Better Than His Lines

Matthew Stafford was on Letterman last night to deliver the nightly Top 10 list for the show. He was a little stiff and looked a bit hesitant with his delivery...this does not bode well for the Detroit Lions.

Sports Videos, News, Blogs

Friday, April 24, 2009

Mel Kiper Scouting The Ladies

Friends of the Deuce made this hilarious video you should check out. I don't know any guy that doesn't do this but the guy that plays Mel Kiper has one dead-on impression of him. Love the wig and anyone that can make Mel Kiper cry is ok in my book.

NFL Director of Fandemonium Madness

At the NFL draft this year, one of these lucky fans above will have the chance to be hired for the job of a lifetime. It won't be me sadly, I would've loved to have given up my gig as a low powered attorney for this job, but I guess it wasn't meant to be. Anyway, the job is the NFL Director of Fandemonium and you can see what is going with it here at Whomever it is that wins not only gets the job, they also get a $100,000 signing bonus to go along with it. Not too shabby indeed. As if there wasn't enough drama on draft day, we've got THIS going on.

Here's some video of the rigorous training that one must go through to get this job here as demonstrated by Michael Strahan. Bonus points for the electric football I love those. I still have the one from when I was a kid. Now i'm gonna have to take it out and play with it all weekend.

Open Letter To Washington Redskins Management

Dear Vinny, Danny, Jimmy, et al.

Don't do it. Its not worth it to start over again. Not at the price that will be asked. The amount of draft picks that you will lose this year and next is not worth it. You will be starting over with a new quarterback and no one else to go with him except players that all the other teams in the NFL didn't want.

I dunno about the way you run businesses Danny, but in the NFL the proven way to win is to have a team that fields young talent that can do the job of older guys but for way less money. You draft players, lots of them, don't put all your eggs in one basket. Load up on cheap players, keep the ones that stick and drop the ones that dont and do it again and again year after year. Once you have depth and a base of young talent, you then use free agency to compliment the talent you have cultivated...not the other way around.

What I am trying to say is, cut this crap out and just leave Jason Campbell alone. His numbers from last year were actually quite fine. Sure he had just a few touchdowns, you would as well if your #1 WR was a #2 and your #2 is a #3 and your #3 should be retired, and your #4 and #5 rookies couldn't get on the field. That and having no red zone target to throw to makes it tough to be a quarterback in the NFL. But hey, he also had just a few interceptions and a really high QB accuracy. Sure he made his share of mistakes, but so did the wide-receivers who couldnt run the right routes or get open when they did.

Plus, the line was beat up last year, kid didn't have a chance with the overmatched youngsters getting beat like a dusty old rug. Portis' second half numbers suffered because of the line play as well, its not a coincidence. The injured line was a huge detriment to this offense and for some reason, there's no talk about trading up to grab a RT to replace the ineffective duo of Heyer and Jansen. How does that make any sense?

So, I'm begging you, as a life-long Redskins fan, don't do it. Don't carelessly dump the QB we have, who should finally be comfortable in an offense after playing in it for 2 years straight, for yet another project. Instead, get him some more help so he can succeed. Get him some linemen to block for him. Give him time to throw, time to grow, time to be the quarterback you knew he could be when you traded back into the 1st round to draft him those years ago.

Seriously, I already hate you guys for what you've done to this once great team, don't make it any harder to root for the Redskins.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Travis Henry Copped A Plea

Everyone's favorite coke trafficking, baby-daddy has finally had his day in court. Travis Henry plead guilty on Thursday to one count of conspiracy to possess cocaine with intent to distribute. Henry said at trial:
"I was involved in an agreement with other people to possess and distribute at least five kilograms of cocaine."

If it weren't official before, it is now, Travis Henry is not a good person. He's had a few chances already in the NFL, if he gets any considerable jail time the 30 year old running back can pretty much kiss his playing days goodbye. Even without jail time, its got to be unlikely that anyone would want to give this guy another chance just because of his age and injury issues alone, not even mentioning that he's a convicted felon.

The real loser in this though, the kids. Somebody think of the kids!

From Denver Post

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Idiot + Dirt Bike + Deck = YouTube Gold

Since i'm posting, might as well throw a Random Video of (not so) Horrific Violence up.

NCAA Doesn't Seem To Think You Should Exist

The NCAA apparently wasn't fond of the creation of the College Basketball Invitational tournament a couple years ago and, according to the CBI, has been actively threatening persuading teams to not play in it if they do not get into the NCAA tournament or even the NIT (which the NCAA owns as well). Rick Giles, president of the company that owns the CBI, had this to say to Fox Sports 26 in Houston:

"In fact in year one when we came in for selection weekend, I had cease and desist letters (from the NCAA) sitting on my desk, fax machine and e-mail."

"They've also in a very subtle, and behind the scenes way, discouraged teams from participating in the CBI," Giles said. "They've certainly discouraged them from choosing the CBI over the NIT, but have also suggested to teams it would be better if they did not play in the CBI even if they were not invited to the NIT, which is mind-boggling of course."

"Teams have told us they were told not to play, teams particularly in the BIG 12 and the SEC," Giles said. "Selected schools from both of those conferences told us in both years that they wouldn't play even if they were not invited to the NIT."

Despite these claims, Giles says his company is not going to sue them...yet.

"Suing the NCAA can be a very waring process," Giles said. "So we would prefer not to have to do that. However, if they do anything that did threaten our existence, then we would consider that."

Wait...didn't he say the NCAA has been actively telling teams not to play in the CBI...or else? Isn't that trying to threaten their existence? What gives there? I can understand saying that suing the NCAA is kinda foolhardy because they are monolith with unlimited funds that would bankrupt them from legal fees before the trial even finished, but if you're gonna make this kind of claim, you might want to not destroy your argument after you made it.

In any case, I can see why the NCAA might feel threatened by another tournament stealing teams away from the NIT. Sure, no one really cares about the NIT except the schools that play in it, but it does pull in some cash from the games and television rights. There should, however, be enough teams to play in all the tournaments though. Schools that couldn't get into either the NCAA or NIT now have a chance to prolong their season, giving those lesser teams just as much court time to play the game they love as the big boys, while providing those schools some extra cash from the games at the same time (since the games are played on home courts instead of neutral sites).

Simply put, if teams want to play they should be able to play. Its the most obvious argument I think I have made on this site and I've made a lot of em. The NCAA should think more about the kids and the schools than protecting all the money they make from the unpaid athletes on the court. Well, that argument could be used for a lot of things the NCAA does.

From Fox 26 Sports - Houston

Kobe's on Sesame Street...and the image rehabilitation project by his P.R. firm is complete.

Wow, And Here I Am Walkin On My Floors Like A Sucker

This guy prefers to rock climb in his house. No, he doesn't have any machines or a climbing wall, he's just climbing the walls inside his house...oh and ceilings too. He refers to it as "home bouldering". Seems like that is missing something. Oh right. It should be X-TREME Home Bouldering. Yes. Much better.

The good people at Real Clear Sports has scored another great interview, this time with the combative Gregg Doyel of CBS Sports. Check it out, always worth the read when these guys interview people. Another nice score.

Yankees Gettin Sued For Too Much Patriotism

New stadium? Flush with cash? Ok, now you're gettin sued. The New York Civil Liberties Union is suing the NY Yankees, NYPD, 2 police officers, the City of New York and more on behalf of 30 year old Yankees' fan Bradford Campeau-Laurion, who claims he was "...forcibly restrained and ejected him from Yankee Stadium after he tried to walk past an officer during the playing of “God Bless America.”

A bit heavy handed ya think? Here's his story from the press release (see also the video at the bottom):

Campeau-Laurion quietly watched the game, ate a bag of peanuts and drank two beers. He decided to use the restroom at the start of the seventh-inning stretch – a period when fans often choose to use the restroom. He got up and made his way down the aisle as “God Bless America” began playing. A police officer blocked his path and indicated that he could not leave during the song. Campeau-Laurion explained that he needed to use the restroom and was not concerned about “God Bless America.” Then he attempted to walk past the officer.

Before Campeau-Laurion could take a step, the police officer grabbed his right arm and twisted it behind his back. A second officer twisted Campeau-Laurion’s left arm behind his back, and the two officers then marched him down several ramps to the stadium’s exit with his arms pinned behind his back. The officers refused to ease their grip, even though Campeau-Laurion was not resisting them.

The encounter ended with one of the officers telling Campeau-Laurion to leave the country if he didn’t like it.

I do like that last line to leave the country if he didn't like it. Even if it were true, I am not sure why the Yankee's are really included in this except for their deep pockets, unless they had given instructions to all security personal to become the personal defenders of patriotism and not let anyone leave their seats during the 7th inning stretch. Yea, as crazy as little Steinbrenner is i doubt that too. Sounds to me like some rouge agent going a little overboard there and the Yankees, as evil as they are, are just caught up in the wash.

Although, ya never know...right? Either way, its great news for me because I am a fan of a bunch of teams that have had little sustained success in any sport (ie: all DC teams) so anytime someone can try to knock one of the big boys down a peg or two somehow, I am all for it. Hell to the yeah. God bless America indeed.

Want more info about it? Here's a video with the "victim" talkin about why he's doing it all

From NYCLU's website

Bo Knows Banking

Wonder what Bo Jackson is up to? Apparently he figures NOW is the time to jump into the lucrative world of...owning a bank. Hm...Bo may know banking but does Bo know recession? Bo know Depression? Bo know Bailouts? Lets hope Bo is being shrewd here and just knows buying low and selling high.

From UPI
Hey, we're #20 on the Sports Media Challenge Blog Index. Had to toot our horn about that, especially considering how we've been slacking on the site. Much thanks to the guys at the SMC to reading our site. Yea, we know we have been slacking, what about it? Now, if only our freakin BallHype score would go back to the 30s like it used to be. WTF happened there? Vote the stories people!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

ESPN Montana Real Has Some Competition

Everyone can agree that ESPN Montana Real is a stupid name. At least ESPN has the excuse of being a baby. A stupid baby but a baby nonetheless. Mr. Queens P. Ranger gets no slack.

Darren Rolph of Rochester, Kent in England has done the unpossible and changed his name in support of his favorite team, Queens Park Rangers. Rolph is now legally known as Queens P. Ranger. He's using his new name on all legal documentation. His missus refuses to change her name but is staying with him. She bears just as much blame as he does. ASBO's all around for these assclowns. 

Father Of The Year Gets A Break

Everyone loves to whine about how hard single mothers have it. When are people going to cut single fathers a break? Fathers like Jason Caffey deserve some props and not just cause their boys can swim ... or tidal wave. Travis Henry is out there trying making moves to take care of his nine shorties by nine different women but every time a brotha tries to bring himself up, the man's gotta knock him back down. 

The last time we saw Henry, he was suspended from the NFL for violating its drug policy and oh, threatening to kill a drug mule over a missing $40,000 from a robbery as well as being party to the transport of six pounds of coke and six pounds of Mary Jane. It's hard out there for a money man. Henry cut a plea and will plead guilty to one charge of conspiracy to possess 11 pounds of coke with intent to distribute in exchange for having two other charges dropped. He's still looking at 10 to life along with a $4 million fine.

Let's cut Henry some slack for trying to do the wrong thing in order to do the right thing.

Roy Williams Gets Greg Paulus'd

Nice to see Jerry Jones' investment in Roy Williams is paying off already. Watch Roy Boy get posterized by UT-Arlington's Marques Haynes at Michael Huff's Celebrity Weekend. 

It's fine if Williams keeps that flinching to the basketball court. He doesn't want to do that when running across the middle like T.O.

You Had To Be There Or So I Hear

It was one of those matches people will remember where they watched it years from now. Somehow more than the 43,000 person Stamford Bridge capacity will say they were actually at the match. I won't be one of those people even though I could and should have been there. The last time I missed games like this were Games 1 and 3 of the 2004 ALCS but we won't discuss that now.

The second leg of the Champions League quarterfinal between Chelsea and Liverpool was a match for the ages. Chelsea came in with a comfortable 3-1 lead and a seemingly easy trip to the semifinals where they would face Barcelona after their first leg demolition of Bayern Munich. Liverpool came in needing to win 3-0 to advance. Anyone with a sense of history knows better than to count them out. Anyone who did was in for a series of mini-heart attacks. I'm pretty sure I lost years of my life watching this match and I'm a black man which means I'm done at 52 like an NFL lineman. Hypertension, high blood pressure, NYPD, crazy white boys. Something will get my ass. Rubbing Tussin on my chest will only help for so long.

The rundown: The worst of my fears were realized when Liverpool jumped out to a quick 2-0 lead. The chicken bones, rum and kwanzaa candles came out. One more goal and Liverpool would be through. The half ended with the visitors up 2-0. On the outside, I was a bit stressed but maintaining my cool. Inside, I was yelling "Lawd jesus, not like this!" I was so much of a stereotype that I could have been an extra in The Color Purple.

Chelsea responded at the start of the second half. Actually Pepe Reina gave a helping hand and made the score 2-1. Six minutes later, Alex equalized. 2-2 became 3-2. All was well and Chelsea was through again. Not so fast, my friend. Out of nowhere, Liverpool came right back and scored two in three minutes to make the score 4-3 in the 83rd minute. One more goal and 5-3 would be enough to take them through on aggregate. At this point, the cool left me and I was visibly shaken. If it were possible for a black man to go pale, it would have happened. Shell-shocked doesn't begin to describe my slack-jawed appearance. Super Frank to the rescue. 4-4 in the 89th and that would be enough to see Chelsea through.

Sweating as though I played 90+ minutes, I praised every deity out there including Jobu, Jebus and Superman before remembering that Barcelona awaits Chelsea in the semifinals. Barca are unquestionably the team to beat in Champions League this year. However Chelsea's form of late under Guus Hiddink gives even the most skeptical of supporters hope of getting to Rome. 

Now for Arsenal on Saturday which I will also miss. I don't know why I bother trying to go to live sporting events anymore. Saying that, let's hope I can get my hands on some Chelsea-Barca tickets.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Does God Hate The Yankees?

The New York Daily News is in a stink over comments President Obama's preacher made over the weekend about the Yankees. Rev. Luis Leon responded to the church drummer being a Yankees fan by calling the Yankees out. 
With the Obamas sitting in the sixth row, Leon told congregants that "baseball season has started" and that the church's drummer is a huge Yankees fan.

Leon then said he wanted to remind everybody that the Orioles have beaten the Yankees twice so far, and therefore, "The world lives in hope."

"I'm a fairly charitable person," the good reverend said, "but I have to tell you - I hate the Yankees."
The Daily News notes that the parishoners laughed but it's not known whether the Obamas did. The paper also commented that Obama can't avoid trouble when it comes to church. It's not clear what trouble he would be in if he did laugh. He owes no loyalty to the Yankees. He's a White Sox fan. He also doesn't want to be on the wrong side when his time comes. It's best to just go with the preacher man and hate the Yankees. It's probably wise to throw the Red Sox in there as well. Better safe than sorry.

It's Clown Car P***y Night In Grand Prairie

Leave it to the minor leagues to come up with the best promotions. Fans get to mock others and get something free in addition to a cheap sporting event. The Grand Prairie AirHogs are no different and are getting in on the fun with Octomom Night on June 13.

Fans will be entertained by stroller races and diaper derbies in addition to games of chance. They'll also have the chance to win tickets to another game if the AirHogs score eight or more runs. 

The fun doesn't stop with Octomom. The team is also having AIG Bailout Night on June 16. 20 fans will be picked to chase $1000 worth of $1 bills around the field. That should work out well. It sounds like some evil Mr. Burns trick. Watch out for the executive in charge of recreation. Sorry, prank monkey. Monty say Monkey do. What could be better?

Guess Who's Almost Back

Our first choice for Isiah Thomas' next job would be GM for the Clippers. It doesn't look like we'll get that wish however we may get to see whether, sorry how fast he can destroy a college program. He's had great success at all other levels. No reason why he can't do the same in college. 

Never Question The Bear

Far be it for us to praise anything Boston related but we have to give it up once in a while. The Bruins released several commercials including the following:

Cockblocking is never cool even during playoff season. That bear just wants some Quebecois ass.

Video via Puck Daddy
A man drank three bottles of vodka, jumped out of a fifth-story window and landed without so much as a scratch. He got up and went back upstairs to his wife who started nagging him about jumping. What did he do? He jumped again so he wouldn't have to hear her shit anymore. Once again, he survived with only minor injuries. 
"I have no idea why I jumped the first time but when I came back up and heard my wife screaming angrily at me, I thought it was best if I left the room again - out the window."
What's the lesson here? Vodka makes you invincible or death can't save you from a nagging wife?

Man survives five-storey fall - twice [The Star]

Romario Doesn't Feel Like Chicken Tonight

It's cool if you throw one or two live chickens at Romario. Throw six and it's on like Donkey Kong. A court ordered him to pay $17000 to a fan he attacked six years ago during a training session with Brazilian club Fluminense. To say that he was justified would be an understatement. 

Ricardo Gomes was upset with Fluminense's form and showed up at a training session to provide some constructive criticism using props. He heckled the players and threw six live chickens at Romario. The former Brazil star rushed into the stands and beat Gomes down with the help of the team trainer. 
"You're going to give me a bollocking in my own home? No, you're not are you. If you want to have a go at me go to the Maracana [Rio's largest stadium], but don't do it here, "ranted the player as he and physiotherapist Fernando Lima laid into Gomes.
The manager and other fans joined in until the fight was broken up by the military police. Gomes was still talking shit after the fight. 
"He can't play football but he knows how to fight," the 31-year old Gomes told reporters afterwards. 
There were no other reports of injuries besides the one chicken that gave its life for the cause of better soccer.
Someone call the Human Rights Campaign and PETA. The newest Polish outrage: gay elephants

"We didn't pay 37 million zlotys for the largest elephant house in Europe to have a gay elephant live there."

Let's Get Ready To Rumble Romanian-Style

Romanian rugby fans went to the league championship final expecting to see Dinamo Bucharesti and Farul Constata fight it out for the title. They got that and then some. Both teams decided to do away with the pretense of a game by forgetting the ball and fighting it out with their fists.

Nine players sent to the hospital? That has to make up for the 3-0 snooze fest that fans were subjected to after the brawl ended especially since the police wouldn't let them join in the fun.

Toronto FC Fans Are Quick Learners

Drew Carey got a taste of some real soccer fandom when a Toronto FC supporter threw a beer at him after the Seattle Sounders beat Toronto 2-0. Carey is a part-owner of the Sounders who are playing their first season and doing much better than expected. Luckily for him, a reporter got most of the beer. The thrower would have been better off throwing weighted Plinko chips at him.

Friday, April 10, 2009

What do you get when you cross two Aussie Rules players, a rubber chicken and a chicken carcass? Hilarity and porn ... if you're into that kind of thing. [Yahoo News]

They Were Fighting For The Heavyweight Championship Of Each Other: Thrilla In Manila

When it comes to boxing, there's little question that HBO is at the top of their game. They've done it again with their documentary "Thrilla in Manila" which premieres Saturday night at 8 PM. It goes behind the scenes of the legendary final fight between Muhammad Ali and Joe Frazier in the Philippines as well as the bitter rivalry between the two fighters.

Simply stated, this documentary makes for fascinating viewing. It delves into the broken relationship between Ali and Frazier - mostly from Frazier's point of view. To call Frazier bitter would be an understatement however he isn't unjustified. Viewers get a look at Ali that shows a side not often considered or known by those who fete him as a hero. He attacked his former friend using insults that were not just personally degrading but also racist and opened a rift that has yet to be closed. This was especially surprising considering how much Frazier supported him during his suspension by giving him money and fighting for his reinstatement.

Interviews with members of both camps as well as Imelda Marcos and Ali autobiographer Thomas Hauser give insight into the politics behind the fight, a relationship that went from brotherhood to contempt and the divergent paths taken by the two fighters after Manila. 

Thrilla in Manila
Uploaded by HBOclips

Thrilla in Manila premieres on HBO at 8:00 PM Saturday night.

Stick around afterwards for Pacquiao/Hatton 24/7 at 9:30 PM. It'll be hard to match De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7 due to the lack of crazy ass Mayweather but we have faith in Pacquiao. Let's hope for some celebrity cameos from Hatton fans Wayne Rooney and Oasis. 

Marvis Frazier Is No Longer The Worst Boxer

Meet Brian Sutherland from Shelby, NC. What he lacks in boxing skill he makes up with one strong ass mullet. 

The commentators show no mercy towards this pathetic display that would even embarrass Glass Joe.

Link via The Guardian
Who wants to marry a pirate? Somali women sure do.

Adriano Would Like His Check

Check please. I'm out. Adriano has gone AWOL again. This time, he claims that he's quitting the sport. The Brazilian claims that he's hurt in addition to losing his passion for the game. He says he's even willing to break his contract with Inter and give up the remaining money. Maybe he wants more time to check out his unit since he no longer has a girlfriend to do it for him. 

Monday, April 6, 2009

How Long Until Billy Buffalo Does This To Dick Jauron

Fans aren't the only ones who take Turkish soccer losses hard. Mascots do as well. However they don't just get mad, they get even. Manager Mustafa Denizli took one the hard way when the mascot turned himself into a human torpedo after a Turkish loss.

We're going to assume that he kept the cigarette in his mouth when he executed the flying head butt. Far be it for us to suggest fans or mascots resort to violence but if they do, Tom Cable, Eric Mangini and Manny Acta should keep their heads on a swivel. There's nothing like getting a flying headbutt from a morbidly obese man wearing a dog mask.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

"Told at the door that Prime 112 was closed late Monday for Alonzo Mourning's private retirement party, actor David Hasselhoff asked excitedly if Dwyane Wade would be there, and could he please come back later to see him. Hasselhoff did return -- to hug Wade and Zo, invite Wade to visit him in L.A., and allude to the 2006 Finals, when Heat fans held up Hasselhoff's photo on free throws by Dirk Nowitzki (who likes his music)."

Florida Sports Buzz: A Peak in the UM Huddle [Miami Herald]

Rehabbin' Playboy Style With Andrew Bynum

We brought you a picture of Andrew Bynum rehabbing his knee at the Playboy Mansion by squatting playmates. The good people at Yardbarker passed along some moving pictures of Bynum doing some outside rehab work during the Playboy Golf event.

Dr. Nick Riviera approves of hula hooping as a method to strengthen knees after surgery. Alana of Yardbarker notes that Bynum was on the golf course but didn't play. He didn't want to draw too much media attention to himself. That worked out well.

Seahawks Unveil Arena League Jerseys

Really? The Seahawks should be ready to go whenever the AAFL starts up.
Meet Dick Ankiel.

Jose Mourinho Gets The Fabio Capello Treatment

The Special One admires a special ass.

Italian television resembles the Italian government except it doesn't front with an air of respectability and high-mindedness. Who are we kidding? The Italian government doesn't bother with those either. Chiambretti Night is just one example of quality television in Italy. The shows may be low-brow but the talent sure ain't. Just ask England manager Fabio Capello who could barely contain himself as the ladies shook their asses in his face.

Inter Milan manager Jose Mourinho admires the women almost as much as he admires a fine wine. He had the honor of sitting in the pleasure chair on the most recent episode of Chiambretti Night. No clue what the show is about but it probably doesn't matter. However we like what they're doing. Apparently the Special One does too. Watch him study the dancers like an opposing team starting at 2:20.

No way Jose lets those foul temptresses seduce him. He treated those dancers like a Sunday afternoon at the strip club. Straight JV. He held out until the varsity squad showed up as seen in the picture above. You can't deny that ass no matter how special you are.

** The Capello video from the linked post was removed. This should work.