Friday, November 14, 2008

I Can Finally Come Out Of The Douche Rock Closet

The weight of my secret has been weighing me down for years. Today has been a release I haven't known since ... well there's no need to get into my masturbatory habits while blogging in my parents' basement. Not that I do that. I'm trying to avoid concentrated evil and blindness.

Last week was incredible for everyone especially people of the chocolate persuasion. You might have missed it if you weren't paying attention. Shame on Barry Hussein for stealing the spotlight from two unsung heroes. Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James stood up and showed the world that it's acceptable for black people to like Barry Manilow.
James said Jay-Z is almost always his choice before taking the floor, but he has diverse musical taste and enjoys R&B and alternative rock.

... James was then informed that Nuggets star Carmelo Anthony, his longtime friend and U.S. Olympic teammate, admitted last year that he had Barry Manilow's music on his iPod.

"I probably got a little of that," James said. "I bet you I can find it on my iPod."
Sure enough, Bron Bron found "Copacabana," "Mandy" and "I Am Your Child".

Feel free to proclaim your love of Air Supply, Neil Diamond and Christopher Cross, black people. I sold myself out with the England Dan and John Ford Coley reference in the last post. Yacht Rock is my jam. Yeah, that's right. I have the Easy Rock 2-CD compilation and I rock that along with the Little Brother, H-Town and Cash Money. Conscious and positive is how I roll. Fat Luther is also special to me.

I remember the shame I felt when friends saw Air Supply on my iPod. I quickly went to some militant shit like Paris. No mas. I ain't scared of you muthafuckas no more! I got Bron Bron and 'Melo standing with me. Actually I take back everything. I would never listen to any of that "soft-ass shit" like the Rocket Man from The Rock. Please. Anyway, everyone knows there aren't any black sports bloggers out there so this exercise is pointless. Please believe me! (Language NSFW)


bj said...

that's not doucherock, that's wimp rock (i like it too). nickelback is doucherock.

Chimpanzee Rage said...

Isnt that frat rock...or are they both the same?

Mustafa Redonkulous said...

You know what? BJ's right. Nickelback is the definition of douche rock

Anonymous said...
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Chimpanzee Rage said...

no spamming our site anon