Wednesday, January 31, 2007
What would be better to add more drama to the spectacle of the NFL than to have a competition, not fate, determine who gets the ball to start? Short of a sacrificial death match, winner gets possession, nothing else can compare.
The influence of this could even open roster spots on teams for champion RPS players as specialists to help teams gain possession! Kickers kick the ball, punters punt the ball, RPS'ers GET the ball!
In overtime, for example, nothing is more important than getting the ball first and yet professional football teams use the toss of the coin to determine who gets the ball first. This is so flawed that the NCAA fully did away with it for their overtime, instead using a "shootout" style overtime, which while exciting, inflates scores and statistics incredibly. Just by using RPS, NFL teams could legitimately determine possession while not destroying the sanctity of the sport.
The team that wins 2 out of 3 gets the ball. Perfectly fair, no random dumb luck anymore and certainly no chance of a Phil Luckett situation occurring again.
The Deuce of Davenport urges all to sign the petition and let our voices as fans of fair play, football and rock paper scissors be heard!!! There isn't much time and it is time for a change! Not to mention their spokesmodels are HOT...Link to USARPS Petition
Barcodes Sign The Gooch
Rejoice America. No longer will the world fear our military (outside of Iraq) and mock our stars as they make asses of themselves in leagues abroad or in international competition. Dyer's team Newcastle United has signed Oguchi Onyewu a.k.a. The Gooch on loan from Standard Liege of Belgium.
There's no way he won't convince manager Glen Roeder to make the deal permanent. He'll be playing alongside or for Titus Bramble who could possibly be the worst defender in the history of the universe.
The Gooch was one of the few bright spots for the US during the World Cup and he was previously linked with Chelsea, Manchester United (manUre) and Marseille. He joins other Americans doin' their thing in the Premiership such as Brian McBride, Brad Friedel, Clint Dempsey, Tim Howard and Jay DeMerit. Make us proud and leave Arnold alone, Gooch. Feel free to kick the shit out of that red-headed stepchild Sam or Paul Dickov.
A sidenote for all you DC area peoples. Gooch is from Olney, MD so maybe he'll come back and play for DC United when he winds his international career.
Rafa Buys More Mantonios
Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez is on the verge of making three signings before the close of the transfer window later today. To everyone's surprise, all three players are from Spanish-speaking countries. It's rumored that he bought them for their flowing locks, lack of consistency and appreciation of Rioja.
Javier Mascherano has been cleared by FIFA to sign and play for Liverpool so expect to see him stealing hubcaps and radios in the next few days.
Primadonovan Still Sucks
The recent transfers of Josh Wolff (1860 Munich) and Clint Dempsey (Fulham) to Europe reinforce the fact that Landon Donovan is still a bitch and has no business being US captain let alone playing for the US. The Deuce bets he can't wait until Becks shows up in LA so he can finally learn how to wear a sari.
The transfer window closes today so the Deuce will provide updates if anyone worth talking about makes a move.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Now they vote to make gambling on or charging admission to a cockfight a Class 6 felony instead of a Class 3 misdemeanor.
...The panel stopped short of expanding the penalty to all participants of cockfighting events and those who raise gamecocks. Instead, as is the case now, only gambling on or charging admission to cockfighting would be illegal, with a maximum fine of $2,500 and five years in jail. Under current law, the penalty is a Class 3 misdemeanor, with a maximum fine of $500 but no jail time.Perhaps the Deuce shouldn't judge. Maybe the Legislature is encouraging promoters to open the cockfights to the general public to encourage families to come out for some wholesome fun. The family that watches cockfights together stays together unless the two cocks fighting are the two gay dads, Francis and Raoul. Nothing against gay adoption or marriage. It's just hard to see a gay couple making it alive together outside of northern VA especially at a cockfight. If anything, the panel's actions may bring the Central American and Muslim immigrants in northern Virginia together with the yahoos in southern and western Virginia together. Pupusas and pitchforks unite! Take that, Virgil Goode and Tom Tancredo.
I would like to express my great pleasure at being invited with my esteemed nuclear scientists to the 4th annual New York Idiotarod. It has been our long-cherished hope to visit
I am told by my comrades that this Idiotarod is modeled after a venerated Alaskan sled-dog race, in which competitors brave brutal conditions, starvation and injury in a desperate battle for survival. Like winter in
Still fresh in my memory of the race is the diabolical creativity displayed by our nemeses in their costume construction and sabotage tactics. However, as is the case with all true revolutionaries, we had the overwhelming force of our superior morality – and sweet, fragrant fish oil – on our side. I rejoice in our glorious victory over the imperialist aggressors of the
we remain confident that evidence of our triumph will linger on in the minds and noses of our enemies. The organizers of the race saw it fit to promulgate their lies and attempt denial of our victory, but rest assured, Comrades: It is an honor whether to live or die on the road of revolution!
In doing a little research, the Deuce is furthering this rumor by saying the only person this could be is Bobby Depaul. His bio states that he is a Bowie, Md native and:
DePaul attended Archbishop John Carroll High School in Washington, D.C., where he played fullback and linebacker on a team that lost only once during his three-year varsity career. DePaul attended the University of Maryland and played linebacker on three Atlantic Coast Conference champion Terrapin squads...
The Redskins sure could use someone with some real scouting and personnel experience with the moves that Vinny Cerrato has made over the last decade pretty much crippling the team with the deadly combination of no salary cap space AND no draft picks. Perhaps this DePaul character is the man to get the Redskins back to their winning ways of a decade ago.
DePaul entered the NFL in 1989, hired by former Bears defensive back Richie Petitbon as a member of Joe Gibbs’ coaching staff at Washington where he stayed until 1993 after winning an NFL championship with the Redskins’ Super Bowl XXVI victory over Buffalo.
Or perhaps its just another death rattle while a once proud franchise grasps for some more stars from their old, faded glory.
- Anheuser-Busch has the most ad time so far at an astounding 5 minutes of ads. The Super Bowl and FCC are all about keeping nipples away from the young impressionable minds of our children...but we can sell the shit out of some beer to them!
- GoDaddy will have three spots featuring the always hot Danica Patrick. Who knows what the hell they sell...i'm guessing sex or cars. Kids need both.
- GM has bought 3 ads. Chevrolet has two of them. That means the kids will always know that This IS Ourrrrrrrrrrr Counnnnnntry.
- Boehringer Ingelheim's Flomax...really, need anymore be said? Think of the kids people!!
See the whole list here - Advertising Age
Monday, January 29, 2007
Candace Cabbil sued Spree alleging that he broke a co-habitation agreement and pulled a PJ Carlisimo on her. She had four of his shorties and is the guardian for another one he had with another woman. He's on five and creeping up on Kemp who has seven shorties with six different mothers.
When asked for comment, Kemp replied,
"Oh hell naw! You can tell Spree that I said he can sit on them spinners and go fuck himself cause ain't no way he's catchin' me! And I ain't never had no momma sue me for shit cause they know that's what they're gon' get if they do...still $200 mil is a lot of money."Just to stay on the safe side, Santa Kemp went out and fathered six more children with six different mothers. Merry New Year, shorties.
Monday, January 1, 2007
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