Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Hey Ladies, Shake Them Rally T*ts For The Mariners

The war is over! The Seattle Mariners and Seattle strip club DreamGirls finally reached an agreement to end their legal battle over the club's presence 400 feet from Safeco Field. The pros on the field are going to have some competition from pros on the stage.

The Mariners agreed to drop their appeal of a lower court decision allowing the club to open after the owners agreed to several concessions.
Under the settlement, the club operators agreed to certain limits on the building's outdoor signs and a canopy along First Avenue South and Occidental Avenue South, including the size and degree of lighting.

No pictures of women on a full-color outdoor video display will be shown on days when events aimed at children are taking place at Safeco, such as Little League days. Only messages with text would be permitted on those days. The agreement covers up to 15 baseball games and up to 12 other events such as graduations.

When displayed, those pictures cannot be sexually explicit. The video sign must be on First Avenue South and can't be visible on Occidental Avenue South, where many people walk to Safeco.

The club also will not use barkers to attract customers or use amplified sound outside the building. No live adult entertainment will be allowed on the roof, and the club will employ private security guards to deal with unlawful activity and loiterers.
That's cute. Does team management think the restrictions are going to keep Adrian Beltre away from the club? If there's anyone who can take a knee to the balls, it's him. Fuck a cup. If club owner Roger Forbes is smart, he'll get all subliminal and pay players to use strip club music while batting. Mike Sweeney could come out to a little Crüe. Imagine Ichiro stepping into the batters box to the big booty shakin' sounds of Uncle Luke (lyrics NSFW). Doo Doo Brown!!


Living with Balls said...

Seems like a welcome distraction from a perennial mediocre ball club

Blogger said...

I've just installed iStripper, so I can watch the best virtual strippers on my desktop.