Poor Diego Maradona. The Hand of God is helping him put steak, empanadas and small children down his throat instead of helping him win games. The Argentina manager is running away from his team's dismal World Cup qualifying campaign and heading to fat camp to lose weight and relieve some stress. Patrick Kennedy and Ted Haggart say he's doing it all wrong.
Argentina is on the verge of not making the 2010 World Cup finals in South Africa after being molested by Brazil and Paraguay in the South American qualifiers. Maradona is responding to this national crisis by taking off to Italy in order to lose five kilos. The Deuce respects doctor-patient privilege but Dr. Nick should probably explain how losing five kilos will improve Argentina's chances of making the World Cup. He won't gain in strategy what he loses in weight. "Hi everybody! It's your window to strategery gain!"
Bolivia or Colombia seem like his kind of stress-relieving countries more than Italy. Then again he didn't have a problem getting the marching powder in Naples when he lived there. Have fun watching the finals on the Pampas, Argentina. It's not all bad. Carlos Tevez can get back in the studio next summer and bang out more hits like this.