I Predict A Riot

Boom goes the dynamite. Seriously it does so watch where you run.

Chechnya welcomed back top-flight football for the first time in 14 years as Chechen powerhouse Terek took on brickhouse Krylya Sovietov. I like how the brickhouse takes it back to the old school. They broke Terek 3-0.

Warlord/benevolent dictator Ramzan Kadyrov said this showed that Chechnya was over the unpleasantness of the past years when everyone was on vacation and nothing happened.

“It’s a great victory for us because this shows Grozny has returned and the Chechen people are tired of war and just want to live normal lives.”

Kadyrov failed to mention that the people were beaten into submission by the Russian military which was aided by his paramilitary army.

The match took place in the same stadium where Kadyrov’s father Akhmad was killed by a bomb (5:00) planted under his seat during a rally. Ah memories.

The match was so normal that snipers were on roofs surrounding the stadium. They backed up over 7000 police officers. Oh sewers were checked and cell phone signals were jammed as a precaution against remote-controlled bombs.