Friday, July 17, 2009
Derek Jeter Should Have Considered Nashville
Derek Jeter doesn't know a bargain when he sees one. He's currently building what will be the largest home in the Tampa area. This monstrosity could easily hold 10 strip mall strip clubs. He could easily put Ybor City out of business.
How much is Jeter's house? It's impossible to say because "it's one of a kind and unlikely to attract many buyers besides the ultrawealthy". The property, purchased under the name of Kered Connors LLC (Derek spelled backwards), brought in $7.7 million several years ago. It comes in a 30,875 square feet which is approximately the size of a Best Buy store.
Instead of blowing his load outbuilding the owner of an RV empire, Jeter should have considered Steve McNair's house which is currently on the market.
The house is reportedly listed for $3.8M but if you act now, you can get $800,000 off and (wait for it) a football autographed by Steve McNair. What a bargain. Jeter is crazy for not considering this deal. It's a deal. It's a steal. It's the sale of the fucking century. In fact, fuck it. I think I'll buy it myself.
What a fine poster. How could Mr. Yankee say no to such an exclusive house? Who wouldn't love to live in the house of someone who sacrificed for all of us like Jesus? Shout out to my boy Ray Ray.