Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The Lions Aren't Very Good At All And They Know It

One of the great things international soccer has over American sports is the soccer chant or song. All teams have them and they range from the basic ("Chelsea!") to the personal ("With a packet of sweets and a cheeky smile, Wenger is a fucking pedophile!"). There are songs that reference holidays. "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, one Cantona and an Eric Cantona!" You then have the statements of fact such as "You're shit and you know you are!" or "You're not very, you're not very, you're not very good at all!". Lions fans would do well to learn the statement of fact chants. The players have them down.
"I'm tired of saying we are making progress, I'm tired of saying we were close, and I'm tired of saying we just need to execute," center Dominic Raiola said Monday. "It is the same thing week after week."

"I'm out of things to say," he said, one day after the Lions dropped to 0-7 with a 25-17 loss to Washington. "It's hard to even go anywhere without feeling embarrassed."
You almost feel sorry for players like Raiola but then you think of clowns like Matt Millen and Tatum Bell and laugh. Millen may be gone but his ghost remains. The Lions started 0-12 in 2001 so 0-7 is old hat to players like Raiola. He really needs to look at the bright side. 0-7 is better than 0-12. Never mind the winning percentage. Of course, there's a good chance they'll be worse than last year's 1-15 Dolphins.

Raiola might want to consider one of the stylish bags as modeled by a Lions fan above. It's biodegradable and 2-ply so it's strong enough to contain any and all embarrassment or shame felt by the wearer. It's also better than plastic. We all know what happens to people especially small children that play with plastic bags on their heads. They have an super awesome time, boss man!!

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