Friday, October 10, 2008

Don't Be Suprised If You See Diego Maradona Playing In The Mexican Minors


A drug-dealing soccer team? It seems like the premise for a movie or tv drama that should star Charlie Sheen as Carlos Estevez, a soccer team-owning drug baron. It could also just be another day in Mexico.

Seven players on the Mapaches de Nueva Italia Raccoons soccer team were arrested for "alleged ties to drug traffickers". One player was linked to the drug cartel "La Familia" which is based in one of the most violent states in Mexico. La Familia has nothing to do with Jay-Z or Roc-A-Fella as much as they would like that.

Once word of the Raccoons gets out, players from all over the world will be rushing to Michoacan. Mark Bosnich in goal, Rio Ferdinand and Abel Xavier in the back. Imagine Maradona and Adrian Mutu up front. Yeah Maradona's heart could explode at any second but it'll be fun while it lasts. The Mexican Third Division won't know what hit it. All they'll need is a Tony Montana-like chairman and some WAGs. Now that's a telenovela for the ages. Think of Scarface crossed with Footballers Wives. Can't you see a drug-addled Maradona saying "Her womb is so polluted, I can't even have a fuckin' little baby with her!"? Salma Hayek throws a glass of Don Julio in his face and screams, "Fuck you, Gordo!" as she storms out of the restaurant. Fuck TNT. We know drama.

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