Monday, June 29, 2009

Ultimate Warrior on Michael Jackson...Too Soon?

Former WWE superstar Ultimate Warrior delivered a fine eulogy to Michael Jackson on Friday and I just thought you, our good readers, would love to hear what he had to say. Don't shoot the messenger.
Jacko. Finally, he beat it.

I imagine all the crying about the death of this recent drug-soused entertainment freak has most to do with the unfortunate inconvenience that the other drug-soused entertainment freaks now face. They will have to look for another local, safe and reputable babysitter. No longer will they be able to drop their kids off down the street at Jacko’s to be watched for the afternoon and spend some play time with his own kids.

I hate the paparazzi, and think they should all be shot for the obsessive invasion of privacy. But I’m really going miss ALL those TMZ and Entertainment Tonight video clips of Jacko’s and other celebrity kids playing together. You ever see any of those? Weren’t they great? Didn’t they make you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside? Worked for me. Every time I caught one it made me believe maybe he wasn’t a pedophile. After all, famous and rich entertainers, with all kinds of money to go to any expense to have things accurately checked out for themselves, wouldn’t let their own little babies near a pedophile…would they?!

Well, you gotta give him credit for one thing. He spent all his money (and then some) before he died. And that’s not an easy thing to calculate. Go ahead, ask your financial planner if he has a plan to pull it off. For all the horrific mismanagement of millions and millions and millions of dollars, here at the end, Jacko did a pretty damn good job at balancing the books in his favor. Sorry, at my new age and with the way the Obama economic plan is going, I couldn’t help but recognize this stunner.

Your Founding Father of Intense Sarcasm…

Always Believe, Warrior

Sensitive guy huh? Was that too soon?

From Warrior's Machete

1 comment:

homosforhellwig said...

Mr.Warrior is a Patriot. He aspires all his warriors to return to the pracitce of Tradional and Conservative values. He does not tolerate people like Michael Jackson who self-destruct. Mr. Warrior promotes the rational use of steroids sure, but he is against any kind of abuse. He is 50 and his boobs still look like they are chiseled out of stone. He is incredibly intelligent and has read the Great Books of the Western World. My goal is to unite all gay and non-gay warriors and form ONE WARRIOR NATION. ALWAYS BELIEVE!