"We are very excited to team up with John Daly," said Jack Pok, Senior Vice President of Marketing for Big Red, Inc. "John's long list of achievements throughout his career and his recent success in Europe has proven he is committed to his fans. His performance on the golf course is a perfect fit for both All Sport and Big Red brands."
Wow, what are his long lists of achievements they are speaking of? The fact that his liver is still ticking despite rampant alcoholism? The achievement of not having both his knees broken due to his degenerate gambling? Most mortal men could not have lived through either more than likely, so yes, they are impressive.
In all seriousness though, the guy has won 2 majors in his career, the last being over a decade ago. and has a total of 5 wins on the tour in his career, the last being 5 years ago. I'm not even sure what recent success in Europe they're talking about, the last tournament he won there was in 2001. Oh wait, he finished 2nd in some random tournament in Italy. Right. Those accomplishments are greater than, say, anything I've done on the golf course, but in the golfing world...um, washed up much?
I guess he will need a those energy drinks to rehydrate after downing all the cigarettes and diet cokes he kills during tournaments. I mean, they take a toll on a guy.
From a press release