You'll Never Catch Me, Copper. See?

Are monkeys smarter than humans? They're definitely smarter than Rae Carruth. You'll never see a monkey hide from the authorities in his car trunk or fake his own death. A feces-throwing rhesus monkey is on the lam and is daring the authorities to catch him.

Wildlife officials said a rhesus monkey known to throw feces when mad is on the loose in Tampa Bay. Authorities have been trying to capture the primate since Tuesday afternoon, but it managed to evade a bucket truck and tranquilizer dart.

The monkey must have been trained by Morpheus or Chiun. It's going to take an Agent Smith type to slow him down. A posse comitatus at the very least. This monkey won't take himself down with his own feces like one Plaxico Burress. Ride like the wind to be free again, Rhesus. Make it to the border of Mexico where sweet freedom awaits you.