Friday, January 16, 2009

Does This Look Like A Man Who Had All He Can Eat

Criminals should start thinking ahead. "If I get caught, I might want to consider getting decent representation." Unfortunately for Joba Chamberlain impersonator Ryan Ward, he didn't think ahead and now he's screwed.

Ward was busted after trying to scam a bagel from a Jersey bagel shop by pointing at a picture of the Yankees pitcher and asking "Do you know who I am?" Now he's facing a year in jail. He should be fine. He has the best representation Jersey has to offer.
"What's the crime in pretending to be someone?" Bardis asked. "I'm Mel Gibson; want to have a drink? He just goofed around because he kind of looks like the guy."

Ward then corrected his lawyer.

"He looks like me," Ward said.
Ah the Lionel Hutz of New Jersey. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to prove to you not only that Ryan Ward is guilty, but that he is also innocent of not being guilty." Bardis has a foolproof strategy to get him out of there. Surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. The judge won't know what hit him. Ward will be free and clear in no time.


Anonymous said...

Am I missing something? Is this post lacking a thesis?

Chimpanzee Rage said...

You are missing something

The Bowler said...

This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story.