Thursday, February 14, 2008

Extreme Jelly Beans

You know the end of times is upon us when Jelly Belly is hopping into the sports energy world of products. Jelly Belly has created the Extreme Sports Beans, which are caffeinated jelly beans "enhanced" with Vitamins B and C, carbohydrates and electrolytes. Ye Gods.

The Jelly Belly company even has a study by UC Davis that says that their beans are just as effective as sports drinks and gels in maintaining blood sugar levels and improving exercise performance. If you don't want that caffeine, you can just shoot for the regular Sports Beans, which are caffeine free and come in more flavors while still providing all the other bean enhancements. So, instead of cracking open that Gatorade, just chew up a package and a half of those tasty little jelly beans and kick some ass!

This isn't the end of these suped-up candies either. A Seattle PI reporter has found that there are now a ton of these products out on the market:
Last month, Mars Inc. introduced Snickers Charged, a version of the candy bar with a cup-of-coffee's worth of caffeine, plus B vitamins and amino acids, ingredients typically found in energy drinks. Jelly Belly Candy Co. has come out with Extreme Sport Beans, which are caffeinated and contain electrolytes, compounds beneficial for hydration, while Hershey Co. has launched caffeine-enhanced Ice Breakers Energy mints. Along with Jolt mints and gum, Buzz Bites, Foosh Mints, Crackheads chocolate-covered espresso beans and several others, these products make up a burgeoning "energy candy" category.

As if kids today aren't hyper-active enough, they now have these candies readily available to them to ramp up the ADHD to new, as of yet, unexplored levels. There is no way that any of these things are all that tasty, at least not as tasty as their less EXTREME original counterparts. Like I said before, the end of times are nothing sacred?


Anonymous said...

Most parents see these at point of purchase and don't know what's in them. They blame the "lift" on sugar! But when you think about all the stimulants that kids could consume in a single day, it's no wonder they can't sleep, can't sit still. Blood pressure levels for children and teens are at the highest level ever measured in the US, and we wonder why?

The Atheist said...

In fairness, though, the England cricket team use jelly beans as "a source of energy."

They also use them to throw them at the opposition.

rhymeister said...

Caffeine blocks nutrients (vitamins) from being completely absorbed into the body, which is why you shouldn't drink coffee after taking your vits and instead best to take them before going to bed, so this product might sell well but doubt it's very effective.