Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Rio Ferdinand And Wes Brown Embrace American Assclownery

American professional athletes are well known for their extravagance. Mike Tyson had his tiger and Gilbert Arenas has his bull sharks and a million dollar pool. European soccer players aren't about to be left behind. They have the ends but unfortunately they're lacking the vision. However ring-delivering owls could be a good start.

It's tough to decide whether to clown Wes Brown or Rio Ferdinand. It depends on which unreliable British tabloid you choose to believe. The Sun and The Mirror respectively claim that the soon-to-be married players will have owls deliver rings to the altar Harry Potter-style during their wedding ceremonies.

Both papers claim that the owl will deliver the rings in a pouch and perch on the best man's arm. Ferdinand's owl has performed the stunt six times. There's no word on Brown's owl. Hopefully Ronaldo is his best man and the owl attacks him during the ceremony. The picture above shows the reaction of both players if something goes wrong and the owl loses it like a Connecticut chimp.

Far be it for us to leave without reminding you about another trend of athletes giving their children stupid names for stupid reasons. In case you forgot, Ferdinand has two sons named Lorenz and Tate.

Wedding Wings For Ace Wes [The Sun]

Owl Will Deliver Wedding Ring At Rio Ferdinand's Wedding [The Mirror]

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