Thursday, July 26, 2007

Whoop Whoop That's The Sound Of The Beast

Woof woof muthafucka. You know the times are ill when Roger Goodell is putting in more work than the attorney general. Well I'm assuming that Goodell hasn't bum rushed Arthur Blank in bed like John Ashcroft. "Don't sentence the boy. I will..."

The Washington Post reported that Commish Goodell appointed a former U.S. Deputy Attorney General's Uncle's Cousin's Brother's Undersecretary's Roommate Eric Holder to investigate Falcons QB Michael Vick for beating down dogs. Somewhere in Charlotte David Carr is asking why an investigation wasn't opened on the suspects who beat him down like a pitbull for the past five years.

What does Goodell think he will find out? It isn't enough to wait for the resolution of the case against Vick? What's Holder going to find out that current federal prosecutors won't? Maybe he'll start calling Holder E.H. and making him show up for meetings in a helicopter. Maybe the two of them will conduct their own investigation along with Gene Upshaw playing the role of Rick because the federal prosecution is taking too long.

Hopefully Goodell will bring his evidence to VA and scream that the prosecutors aren't doing enough and that he'll take the case into his own hands if they don't move faster.

Maybe he'll even lobby Congress to become judge, jury and executioner for any player currently in the NFL. Imagine that, no longer will a NFL player be subject to normal judicial process, all trials and punishments will be handled before and by the Commissioner. Player gets arrested, sent to Goodell's special NFL holding cells, he will determine guilt or innocence and then hand out the punishment based on his verdict. That way NFL players will no longer clog our legal system and he can take into account the best interests of the league. This would put the fear of GOD into the players, what player would want to be sentenced to jail by their own league's Commissoner? There'd be no way a good lawyer could get them out of trouble, he just wouldn't care. I think this needs to happen.

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