Thursday, July 5, 2007

Update: Behind The Basketball - The Marcus Fizer Story

If you're like us, you've never wondered, "Hmm, I wonder where Marcus Fizer is now and what he's doing." You wonder about people like Christian Okoye, God Shammgod and Koko B. Ware. You know, heroes and legends. Not first-round busts who now find themselves playing for the New York Nationals or in Mongolia against a yeti.

You might remember that a massive black hole was created over the United Center when the Chicago Bulls drafted Fizer 4th in the 2000 NBA draft. The gravitational field only attracted suck and blow instead of everything as evidenced by the combination of Fizer and Tim Floyd. He left Chicago in ruins and proceeded to trash the NBDL, Spanish and Puerto Rican leagues like Isiah on the CBA. One might think the Security Council would have passed sanctions against him but as usual corruption, hesitation and the Russian/Chinese/French alliance have allowed him to run rampant.

Maccabi Tel Aviv, say hello to Marcus Fizer. You thought having Hamas and Hezbollah on your borders was bad. Now you have the temper tantrums and bad attitude of a fanatic combined with the born-again Christian stylings of Kirk Cameron. Threat level: Oy vey ... ZING!
When asked to describe his game, he does not display any false modesty. "I can do everything. Play with my back to the basket, get rebounds, score from halfway out, and move the ball around. I also don't have a problem taking shots from beyond the arc. I shoot from wherever God tells me to."
Fizer also said that he would not have gone to Israel if he didn't receive a NBA-type offer. In addition, he also said that no one from Maccabi spoke to him before he signed a contract. Haaretz suggested that the lack of communication could be due to the "sizable financial implications" or his troubled past. Yes. That's it. That makes complete sense.

Now you can tell your family and friends that you know what happened to Marcus Fizer. We know it's probably as lame and unsatisfying as Behind The Music: Huey Lewis and the News but here we are. However if this has inspired you and you want Fizer to give life lessons and show how you and your business can be successful, click here and call! I assume it's brought to you by the Work At Home Institute.

P.S. Here's what Huey's up to these days. All I have to say is donkey punch.

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