Thursday, July 12, 2007

The "What The Hell, I Can't Get More Fucked Up!" Games

The eXtremity Games are to be held July 18th - 21st in lovely Orlando, Florida and the Deuce could not be more excited to watch a bunch of people already missing limbs to be participating in Xtreme sports. I mean, there will no longer be that awkward period of silence that occurs when a skateboarder lands his 50-50 grind badly thereby fracturing his leg in several places because, well, he won't have a friggin leg anyway! That was a fake leg! HAHAHAHA! We can all laugh about it and move on!

The events at this year's eXtremity Games are:
BMX and Mountain Biking
Kayaking
Moto-X
Rock Climbing
Skateboarding
Surfing
Wakeboarding

All events have prize pools of $1,500, $750, $250 for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place, but these are awarded only to the most difficult of divisions...the rest are shit out of luck and get one of the equivocal "non cash prizes". Lets hope it is new limbs for the guy that fucks up his Backflip One-Handed Nac-Nac during Moto-X 'cause lemme tell ya, he's gonna need it.

Altogether, the Deuce supports giving crips gimps handicapped "handicapable" people their own eXtreme games and events. Seriously, everyone else has them, why the hell can't they? It really cannot be worse than National eXtreme Baseball.

Link to the eXtremity Games

1 comment:

More Credible said...

The only thing that would make eXtreme baseball "extreme", would be placing land mines in between the bases.

Or better yet, under the bases!