Wednesday, November 18, 2009

By The Middle Of November When The Pregnancy Starts In His Horse's Placenta, Robert Van Persie's Gone Til December

Some Chinese healers say the first piss of the morning heals black toe nails. Bull penis is also considered to be an aphrodisiac. Footballers have relied on injury treatments involving goat's blood and Viagra in the past. A horse's placenta? Why the hell not?

Arsenal and Netherlands striker Robert van Persie won't be making any runs due to being ruled out for six weeks following an ankle injury suffered in a friendly against Italy on Saturday. He's going to Serbia for treatment in an attempt to return to action as soon as possible. A Serbian doctor will attempt to treat his injury by rubbing fluid from a horse's placenta on his ankle. Arsenal physios are fine with this. Manager Arsene Wenger probably suggested using a little boy but that wouldn't go over too well in the press. It's not clear how rubbing Ruud van Nistelrooy's placenta on van Persie's ankle will make it heal faster but the visual has to be worth the price.

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