Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Brett Farve And Italian Foreplay Are Your New Punchlines

Brett Favre stories are like Bebe's kids. They don't die, they multiply. Every time they seem to fade away, they come back thanks to someone in Minnesota called Unnamed Source. When I find Unnamed Source, I'll make sure he never spreads any rumors again. Until then, we aren't going to entertain any stories about potential comebacks, Mississippi practices or any other Favre-related bullshit. However, we will indulge anything that mocks him or discusses any dirt he and Mark Chmura did while in Green Bay. Let the mocking begin.

Wisconsin governor Jim Doyle began the public mocking of Favre by using his name as a punch line while announcing his decision to not run for a third term. Doyle, unlike Sarah Palin, will honor his commitment and finish out his term which ends in January 2011. He explained that he didn't believe governors should serve more than two terms.
"I know I will regret this decision many times over the next year, but I'm not going to pull a Brett Favre on you," he said.
It's funny because it's true. Pulling a Brett Favre can and should be applied to everyday situations. Try it out the next time you keep saying you're going to leave the bar after you finish your drink but keep ordering another one. Apply it to the hookup you say you're going to quit but find yourself balls deep in every time you have one too many roofie coladas like Sebastian Janikowski. Everyone knows that person who pulls the Brett Favre all the time. You can even make his name a verb. "I know I was gonna quit my job but I favred it and went back." It's a work in progress but it's got some potential.

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