Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Fart Box Might Have Some Competition In Chicago

We brought you the story of the Arizona Cardinals' Fart Box also known as Darnell Dockett back in January. He turned dropping ass into performance art in the Southwest. The Bears, on the other hand, aren't about to let anyone shart or make a Jackson Pollock in Halas Hall.

Defensive tackle Anthony Adams detailed the Bears' self-imposed system of fines in his Chicago Tribune blog. Falling asleep in a meeting is $20. Jumping offsides during a game is $100. The best fine may be $20 for farting.
"Mark Anderson might be the worst (gas-passer) ever. He takes these protein shakes, so he smells like little babies do. He's the worst at getting the fines and then saying he didn't do it. I know he got that fine for that extra shove in the Steelers game. He wouldn't let anybody see how much it was. We don't get him (an extra fine) for that. When the league gets you, we leave you alone.

I don't get fines for (passing gas). I leave outside the meeting room and do my dirt."
Fart Box ain't scurred of no fine. He'll kill a protein shake then drop a deuce at the drop of a fart.

Maybe we should go easy on Adams. Whatever Adams dropped made Eli give the Gas Face and fumble. That had to get the Fart Box seal of approval.

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