Kiss The Ring, Bitch

Cristiano Ronaldo thought he was big time. He thought he could do what Jaap Stam, David Beckham, Roy Keane and Ruud Van Nistelrooy couldn't do. He thought he could make Sir Alex Ferguson bend to his will. Here come the pain, big time. He's staying at Old Trafford this season.

'Sir Alex Ferguson heard my reasons, I heard his and we have an agreement that the best for both parties would be if I stay. Therefore, I can confirm that next season I will play in Manchester United.

'For a while, my desire was that Manchester would accept Real Madrid's bid. To say the opposite would be cheating people and my own conscience.'

Translation: I wanted to leave. I tried to force a move. Fergie said, "Um...no."

Fergie took the step of flying to Portugal to have a word with the wayward boy.

"I flew to Portugal some weeks ago and we cleared the air and he spoke to some of the players," Ferguson told MUTV.

"The boy has been through a troubled time in terms of the approaches from Spain but once he knew my stance, he then settled down.

..."We can put this to bed now. It's finished and the boy is a Manchester United player and that's the most important thing."

Whatever he said changed Ronaldo's tone right quick.

"I was responsible for all this controversy," [Ronaldo] added.

"I was the one who publicly expressed my desire to go to Real Madrid. I ended up being, even involuntarily, responsible for the poor relationship between the two clubs."

That's gangsta. Kunta Kinte should have realized that Fergie sells when he wants to sell and on his terms. Now he's forced to service Fergie's favorite boy on demand until the winter transfer window as an example to all others who would challenge the rule of Red Nose.