Monday, August 4, 2008

Brentwood Academy: Where You Can Beat The S**t Out Of Life's Problems


It's been a long time since parents and their children could sit down together and watch a movie that gives kids knowledge for life from upstanding citizens. A movie that teaches them about trust, loyalty, mercy, compassion and respect for your fellow man. Kimbo Slice and Hulk Hogan are coming to the rescue with a movie that even batshit crazy Kirk Cameron would give four Holy Grails.

Slice and Thunderlips are joining forces and starring in a "hilarious kids comedy" called "Kung Fu U" in 3D. How is an unmade movie hilarious?
"Kung Fu U" in 3D is a Disney-type comedy about of a bunch of nerds and misfits that are sent away by their wealthy parents to the Brentwood Academy (a.k.a. Kung Fu U) to learn the finer arts of self-defense. It's a heart-warming romp where the rather weathered warriors come to the rescue for the kids, and in turn, the kids rescue the warriors' seemingly lost souls from what had been their eternal apathy. It's a feel-good story that reminds us that we're all the same, no matter what our age, or where we came from, and that we should all stick together.
No doubt hilarity will ensue from the opening credits! Kimbo can teach the kids about showing mercy and compassion (profanity in video).

The little Hulkamanics will also learn that bad things happen to people because they deserve it. Lessons from Jebus if you will. Learn about sticking together and fucking your daughter's best friend who happens to look like your daughter. What's someone else's is yours. It's family! You could always pull the Bill Clinton and go for the closest thing. That's being resourceful. Ramming speed! It doesn't matter cause we're all the same no matter what our age!

There's no word on whether Lawrence Phillips, Brett Myers and OJ will be guest lecturers at Brentwood Academy.

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