Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Surefire Way to Gambling Success! Just Smoke This

Today and today only, Deuce of Davenport is bringing you the way to almost sure-fire sports betting success! Its based off of an ancient African tradition medicine! Nearly guaranteed results! What is this secret? Well...you have to smoke a vulture's brain.

Thats right, because vultures always seem to know when an animal is gonna drop dead, some people believe that if you smoke their brain, you receive their precognitive powers. How do you go about doing this? Well first, you must capture a vulture alive, then remove the head while it is still living so the "brain does not flow down into the spinal cord", next remove the brain from the skull, let it dry, then roll it into a cigarette and smoke the brain, inhaling it deeply within your lungs...receiving all that crazy vulture insight all up in your shit.

Just remember kids, when smoking vulture brains you puff puff give, puff puff give! Don't be fuckin' up the rotation! Hank Goldberg would shoot your ass if you were pullin that shit with his vulture brains! BRAAAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!

From Guardian UK

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