Thursday, January 28, 2010

Best Names In Top 50 MLB Prospects


MLB.com just put out their top 50 prospects list and well collected it is.  I'm psyched the Nationals have 2 people on it, for realz son!  Whenever i look at lists of players like this though, i can't help but poke a little fun at some of this year's new crop of possible MLB superstars names.  Juvenile?  For sure.  Bad habit?  Yup.    Lets look at a few guys that should be the number one prospects in our hearts, if only from their names.

10. Madison Bumgarner - I envision this guy to look like on of the old guys from Trading Places. I know he PROBABLY doesn't. But it'd be great to have a kid coming up that looks like a 50 year old rich white man. Just with that name he could sit right beside Randolph and Mortimer with a cocktail in one hand and a cigar in another. "Looking good Madison!" "Feeling Good, Louis!"


11. Carlos Santana - His walking to the plate music has GOT to be "Oye Como Va" since it loosely translates to "Check this out", like "Check out this home run I'm about to blast". When he hits a home run, i will expect Karl Ravech to shout out "ABRAXIS!!" on Baseball Tonight, even though I haven't watched that show since the MLB Network came into existence. This kid has about a million nicknames built into his name being shared with the esteemed guitarist. Personally, I think he should be called "Jugando" after the track on Santana's album "Moonflower". Not only the final part to a badass 3 part medley, it also means "at play". Apropos no?

22. Starlin Castro - I've never been more divided about a name ever. Castro is always badass since he shares the last name with a ruthless dictator. On the other hand, Starlin is sort of a cross between a fish and a luminous ball of plasma. No idea how your parents think that is a good idea. Maybe its a family name. Or maybe they're just a fan of comic books.

30. Yonder Alonso - If ever a name cried out for a new version of the classic "Who's on First" sketch it could be Yonder.
"Who's Alonso?"
"Yonder"
"I didn't ask where, I asked who!"
"Who?"
"Alsono!"
"Yonder?"
"ARRRGH!"
/punch in face

39. Tanner Scheppers - What an odd name. It sort of sounds like an alcoholic beverage. I do not know why. Just odd. But I like it.

50. Jaff Decker - Jaff just sounds like a name out of Star Wars or something. Like Dack was or Wedge or Biggs...basically he sounds like an X-Wing pilot and that, in and of itself, is AWESOME.  He has a lot to live up to.

1 comment:

Thomas said...

the Bahston Globe (long before they suckered the NY Times into overpaying for it)used to have a best names for college bassabll (as in Jones) players - Napolean Lighting, Baskerville Holmes, Sly mata. Then the PC brigade told the Sports Dept. to knock it off.