I'm Not Bitter Or Anything But ...

Chelsea don't know shit when it comes to penalty shootouts.

There's no need to get into today's Community Shield match between Chelsea and Manchester United as it was a pre-season match. Oh yeah and Chelsea lost. Besides two excellent goals from Ryan Giggs and Florent Malouda, there wasn't much to speak of until the match went to penalties.

As the match wore down into the later stages and into penalties, I was filled with a sense of dread knowing that it was most likely going to penalties. While nothing was riding on the match, I was getting flashbacks to last season's Champions League semifinal exit against Liverpool on penalties. Although I did have the comfort of knowing the match didn't count for anything, one never wants to see the Scum emerge victorious.

The Andes Bomber, Claudio Pizarro stepped up to take the first penalty against Edwin Van der Sar. Surely, he didn't have the stink of last year on him and he's not English. Wrong and maybe he is. Right at Van der Sar.

After Rio Ferdinand converted his kick (surprising for someone with the attention span of a goldfish), Frank Lampard stepped up to the spot and promptly kicked it to the same spot as Pizarro. I should have seen that coming. No way he was putting that in unless he deflected it off the post, Van der Sar or Carlo Cudicini on the bench.

Michael Carrick beat Petr Cech and Tom Cruise's son Shaun Wright-Phillips said to himself, "When in Rome" and did the same thing as Pizarro and Lampard except on Van der Sar's other side. Wayne Rooney sealed the deal and that was that.

I fail to understand why Lampard takes free kicks and I'm beginning to wonder why he takes penalties. The one he converted against Liverpool must have been a mistake.

The match means nothing for the season however it brings a disturbing trend to light when it comes to Chelsea and recent penalty shootouts. This must be addressed before the knockout stages of the Champions League and the later rounds of the domestic cups.

Anyway, the quest for the quadruple starts next weekend as the Premiership season kicks off. No penalties until next calendar year ... I hope.