Andy Murray's Rappin's Like Ziti

Andy Murray rapping over a Ghostface Killah sample? Hell yes. He may not flow like Ghost but he makes way more sense.



All y'all fake motherfuckers up in the joint, huh? Stealin Andy's light, huh? Watch him, duke, watch him. Tim Henman ain't got nuthin' on Scotland. Witness more street knowledge from Murray after the jump.

Roger Federer Should Stay Away From Freestyling

It's probably the rosé talking but Roger Federer knows how to rile up some neutrals. The last thing anyone wants is a crowd of aggro Swiss. Blame it on him if they go mental and hide more dictator assets. Check this video of him improvising a song about the "mighty" Swiss.



At least he's dealing with French Swiss. If he was dealing with the Germans, they probably would have invaded San Marino and Andorra before annexing France.

Boris Becker Gets Nothing And Doesn't Like It

It's easy to expect the world when you're a tennis and closet fucking champion. Everyone's on your jock and wants your time and money. What woman wouldn't want to make it forever with the former winner of three Grand Slam events? Meet Dutch model Lilly Kerssenberg.

Becker got a shock on German national television when Kerssenberg told him he couldn't haz marriages. The couple broke up in 2007 and Becker proposed to another woman in 2008. He had a change of heart and decided that he wanted Kerssenberg back. According to Champions365.com, Becker didn't ask for her hand. He told the viewers that he planned to marry Kerssenberg in June.

Some 9.7 million viewers in Germany watched the unexpected announcement on the show "You Bet ..?" in which both Becker, 41, and Kerssenberg, 32, were guests. Kerssenberg who was obviously moved by the gesture, then went on to say 'no' to a shocked Becker.

It shouldn't be too long before Becker blames his engagement fail on the Russian mafia.

Many Men Enter, Jimmy Connors Leave

Is Jimmy Connors gonna have to choke a bitch?

Jimmy Connors should consider himself lucky that he was arrested on Friday night. Master Blaster wouldn't have been as forgiving if he entered the Thunderdome. Others have been killed for less.

Connors was arrested outside UCSB's basketball arena otherwise known as the Thunderdome. He refused to leave the front of the building after being told to leave by police after "a confrontation".

A UC Santa Barbara employee said Conners got into a scuffle with a larger man before the two entered the area. Conners never made it inside. Witnesses said the friction between Conners and the other person actually began with some “elbow throwing” by the ticket booths, and words were exchanged.

Jimmy Connors knows Muay Thai? That must have been one hell of a fight. Fortunately for you, we found a recreation of the confrontation that led to his arrest. We assure you that things went down exactly as portrayed in the video.



If Connors doesn't get you with his mouth or racket dick, he'll get you with them 'bows.

Nobody F**ks With The Ally

You might fool the fucks on the ATP, but you don't fool Ally. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man! Hah hah! I would have fucked you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass next Thursday instead. Wooo! You got a date Thursday, baby!

You have to give it up for Ally Kudryavtseva. She does not mess around when it comes to people she doesn't like. She worked Maria Sharapova like a rented mule yesterday beating her 6-2 6-4 and knocking her out of Wimbledon. After she beat Sharapova on the court, she finished her off by calling her out.

"It's very pleasant to beat Maria. Why? Well, I don't like her outfit. Can I put it this way? It's a little too much of everything. It was one of the motivations to beat her.''

"If I'm not afraid to go play her and she's world No.3, I'm not afraid she's going to catch me in the dressing room and say, 'You know what, you said you don't like my outfit. You were wrong'. I will say, 'Sorry. That's just my opinion'.''

It's a well known fact that Sharapova is not well liked (meaning not at all) by her Russian teammates. The girls are going to have a great time rooming together in Beijing. There's a chance she could become shell-shocked like David Carr if she keeps getting beat down Brand Nubian style. She's probably better off hiding out in Bradenton until everyone's gone.

Punks Jump Up To Get Beat Down

Sharapova Might Be Hot But...

Apparently, she's not that good between the sheets. See, she and Maroon 5 singer Adam Levine were an item a little while ago, the relationship ended and he had this to say about Maria's lack of skills in bed:

"She wouldn't make any noise during sex," Levine said. "I can't tell you how disappointed I was. I really thought, like a lot of guys, that she'd be the loud screaming type. But instead, she just lay there like a dead frog. She even got angry if I started to moan, said it 'ruined her concentration.' It was so disillusioning that I went on Paxil for a month afterwards. Really, it was much more of a shock than when I found out there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny."

Like a dead frog? Good God...say it ain't so Adam? With all the noise that comes out of her when she smacks the balls on the tennis court, it is really quite a surprise she couldn't muster the energy to do the same when the balls are smacking against her! Then again, one must consider the source. I'd like to think that Adam Levine's shrill of a voice is so damned annoying that she didn't want that ass to open his mouth at all, just do the deed and get it over with. I might actually have more respect for Maria just saying "Shut up and get it done, pretty boy". I still think the dream lives on.

From The eXile.com

The Coup De Grâce

Best! Yeah! Enjoy your favorite French Open players doing karaoke.



Nadal without his unitard and manpris? I'm not sure which way is up or down anymore. What I don't know makes me nervous.

Serena Williams Takes Interesting In-Game Photos

We all have seen her hulking arms and her large posterior...but what is going on here? She looks like she is armed with two surface to air missiles aimed directly at her cross court opponent and if she starts to give her some lip she's gonna fire them off like the ED-209. Seriously, she needs to stop I think. There comes a point where there is too much muscle...and that point is when her boobs could rip your head off by themselves.