Sometimes when news is slow, we have to post things that are tangentially related to sports...such as this. In New York City, Filroy Warner, professional con man, spent the last year getting free therapeutic sports massages while claiming he was an athlete who had a "groin injury". He got the massages for free because he paid for them with fake credit cards, he didn't stop there. He also grabed as much cash, jewelry and belongings as he can, and once even sexually assaulted one of his masseuses. Filroy had this brilliant scheme going for a year, but as most criminals are apt to do, he got greedy and on his 7th attempt at the EXACT SAME CRIME, in the EXACT SAME CITY, he was busted in an NYPD sting.
Now, no one ever said sexual assault is funny (unless you count the guys at MBSR), but that is one hell of a brilliant way to commit a robbery, Filroy just dipped his pen in the well too many times. The only way a genius idea like this could even be created is if he were high as shit too. It had to be like, "Yo, yo, yo man, i got this idea, son. See these fake ass credit cards here, son? What if i said i was Jordan, aight, and I needed my dong rubbed down because i pulled it yo', and I used these muthafuckin cards to get that junk for free yo'? Dawg I bet I could steal all dat cash in dat piece too!"
Oh to be a fly on that wall...and how great a name is Filroy for Christ's sake?
From: NY Post