Thursday, September 6, 2007

Tonga Knows Eating

Tonga don't play when it comes to rugby, BYU football or eating. The Tonga national rugby team is based in Bournemouth, England where they're preparing for the upcoming Rugby World Cup in France. If they show the kind of intensity on the pitch that they displayed at the Fusion Inn, they could be unstoppable.

The Tongans rolled into the pub for lunch and proceeded to wreck shop like Chris Rainey on white girls.
When they dropped into the Fusion Inn yesterday for an English pub lunch, the 30 South Sea giants chomped their way through a staggering 30 roast chickens, 60lb of roast lamb and 60lb of roast beef.

They also wolfed 30lb of pasta and 30lb of potato salad and washed it all down with 40 litres of orange juice.

In all, more than a quarter of a million calories and nearly 10,000g of fat were consumed by the squad.
The English haven't seen devastation like this since the Blitz of 1940 or every World Cup they've ever entered.


The pub called in two extra chefs and three extra waiters off the bench.

In case you were wondering, the Tongans also called "the wrecking balls of the tournament" are in the same group as the US. The gauntlet has officially been thrown down. While this isn't the tournament's group of death, it is for the US. Samoa, England and South Africa round out the group. Save us, Superman because we're about to get proper fucked.

We'll leave you with this tribute to the wrecking balls.



** Vai Sikahema's nephew is Jon Heder. Yeah, Napoleon Dynamite. Marinate on that.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Yes indeed.
Your group is perhaps the hardest hitting in the pools. The ol' US of A is about to get stomped worse than a narc at a biker rally.