Blood On The Dance Floor

There are some like the Japanese and eastern Europeans who still take Michael Jackson seriously. Then there are those who take him literally like Australian rugby players.

Penrith Panthers star Craig Gower made national news in Australia after getting into a fight at a club earlier this month. At first glance, this doesn't seem newsworthy. After all, it is Australia and that's what they do when they aren't wrestling crocodiles or oppressing Aborigines.

The man punched Gower when he tried to kiss him and bit his neck after cutting in between the man and a woman on the dance floor.

The club was called the Peppermint Lounge so it's not clear why this guy was surprised when Gower made his play for the try. A witness said Gower was "really drunk and all over the place, making a dickhead of himself".

The fight was the second altercation of the evening for Gower and his friends who were allowed to stay at the club after being warned for throwing punches.

This is the first time we've heard of Gower and we're so sorry about that.

Gower...was expected to regain the club captaincy he lost last year after a wild drinking binge at a charity golf tournament on the Sunshine Coast [where] he was accused of groping the daughter of league legend Wayne Pearce.

It gets better. Gower used the charity event as part of his bachelor party. During the same weekend, he "held a butter knife to the throat of a Sydney radio personality, damaged a golf cart and walked naked around the Twin Waters Resort".

In 2000, he was kicked off the national team for exposing himself to a tourist. Your move, Pacman.

We don't know anything about the National Rugby League but if NRL players are anything like Gower, we need to start watching Australian rugby religiously.

In case you were wondering, Gower was made co-captain of the Panthers on Thursday after showing "leadership qualities" and "personal fortitude". Aussie Aussie Aussie! Oy Oy Oy!