I would like to express my great pleasure at being invited with my esteemed nuclear scientists to the 4th annual New York Idiotarod. It has been our long-cherished hope to visit
I am told by my comrades that this Idiotarod is modeled after a venerated Alaskan sled-dog race, in which competitors brave brutal conditions, starvation and injury in a desperate battle for survival. Like winter in
Still fresh in my memory of the race is the diabolical creativity displayed by our nemeses in their costume construction and sabotage tactics. However, as is the case with all true revolutionaries, we had the overwhelming force of our superior morality – and sweet, fragrant fish oil – on our side. I rejoice in our glorious victory over the imperialist aggressors of the
we remain confident that evidence of our triumph will linger on in the minds and noses of our enemies. The organizers of the race saw it fit to promulgate their lies and attempt denial of our victory, but rest assured, Comrades: It is an honor whether to live or die on the road of revolution!