Corporate's Got Sports In A Chokehold

Now that's a Marlboro Woman.

Tell us something we didn't know. The pure sports we love have been contaminated by corporate money. No longer is it the game you used to love where companies you knew cared about you and the game sponsored teams and leagues. Remember when Copenhagen could advertise and give away free dip? There was nothing like spitting on the head of some little kid the row below you while watching Joe Altobelli kick some dirt. To be nine again... '83 was an fine year.

In a move the NFL would applaud, bottled water has been banned from major league dugouts. It's been proven that water is bad for your health so it has been replaced with Gatorade, the "official sports drink" of MLB.

...Instructions were sent that no player could be seen drinking anything but Gatorade in the dugout. Not even Aquafina, which is the "official water" of MLB. Not even bottles of water with the labels removed.

White Sox clubhouse personnel said if players take bottled water onto the bench, all the bottled water will be removed from the clubhouse as punishment.

Well done, Bud. Whether it's steroids or water, baseball will not idly stand by and watch our children be corrupted by negative influences in the game.

We can't wait until Gatorade is replaced by Wild Turkey or Key Food brand Prune Juice.