You're Out At The Old Ballgame

Why bother putting anyone else up? The Republicans and MSM has already decided on the next president.

What's next? A chance to watch the NBA Eastern Conference semifinals with Michael Dukakis? A Cubs choke with the remains of Admiral Stockdale?

It's what the true Red Sox fan has always wanted. What's that, you ask? Watching a playoff game at Fenway with Senator Chris Dodd! There's nothing more any Boston fan could want more than to watch an ALCS game at Fenway with some politician yammering on about SCHIP or talking about thinking about withdrawing the troops but not really.

The Chris Dodd campaign is offering some "lucky" donor the chance to win a trip to Boston to watch game six of the ALCS with the senator. All you have to do to enter is donate at least $20.04. Someone might want to tell him the 2004 election is over and the 2008 campaign is underway.

So let's go to Fenway Park... I've got two extra seats -- great seats -- to Game Six of the American League Championship Series against the Cleveland Indians. And I believe they have your name on them.

Next Thursday at 5 P.M. Eastern, we're going to pick one entrant at random, live and online, to attend Game Six with me that Saturday. I'll put up the two tickets, $600 towards airfare for you and your guest, and a hotel room in Boston.

Here's how it works. You make a minimum contribution of $20.04 (in honor of the last time the Red Sox won the World Series, 2004) and you have as good a shot as anyone else to attend the game.

And whatever happens, your contribution will go towards our campaign, restoring the Constitution, and ending the war in Iraq.

Uh huh. Sure it will. He's not even sure about the tickets.

Senator, are you sure my contribution won't go towards paying off the debts of an unsuccessful presidential campaign or whores for Dodd and the good senator from Massachusetts? Actually I would prefer that or a night out on the town with Dodd and Ted Kennedy.

"Er ah who's up for Chappaquidick?"
"Can you spell it? Neither can I. Never happened!"


** While we're on the subject of Ted Kennedy and his, um, alleged indiscretions, I'd like to offer up another way he can make a difference to thousands.

Screech, the current Washington Nationals mascot, has to go. It's absurd and childish. The Nats should go for a political mascot. A bobblehead Ted Kennedy carrying a bottle of Jack and car keys. Game. Set. Match.