At least chimps are funny. Consul the Chimp could do just as good a job as Jim Duquette and Mike Flanagan. Flanagan is quickly losing the cred he built as a player. Eddie Murray, Tippy Martinez and John Lowenstein must be livid. It may be time for an intervention.
The pitching staff has been decimated by injuries. Adam Loewen is out for over eight weeks with a stress fracture in his elbow. Jaret Wright is also on the DL with a case of suck. His father says he may never pitch again. While you never want to see someone go out with a career-ending injury, it is somewhat comforting to know that there's a chance he won't pitch for the Orioles again. Hopefully he'll be able to come back and "help" another team.
Anyway, Hayden Penn hurt himself down in the minors so the Orioles have been forced to make a deal in order to acquire a starting pitcher. They're looking at several mediocre pitchers but one name almost caused me to bleed out of my ears.
Chan. Ho. Park.
If the Orioles sign him, we're done. Over. This is forever shit we're talkin' bout. I'll quit them but first I'll go down to Camden Yards and put Peter Angelos in the camel clutch. Fuck the Monkey's Paw. I want Edward Bennett Williams back. I can't take this anymore.
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