Roger Clemens greets Yankees fans from George Steinbrenner's box at Yankee Stadium.People act as though Roger Clemens is the first player to demand special treatment from his suitors. Luckily, we have ex-Mets GM Steve Phillips to enlighten us.
Steve called into the Big Show with Dan and Keith to discuss player demands during breaks from commercials and worthless local sports updates. He said that some of the more unusual demands were made by Rickey Henderson and A-Rod.
Rickey said Rickey wanted to know what award he was going to receive for breaking Babe Ruth's walks and Ty Cobb's runs scored records. Let's take liberties with the conversation between Steve and Dan since I didn't record it and I'll be damned if I'm listening to Dan whore himself for Progressive Auto Insurance for the 1000th time.
Rickey: So what does Rickey get when Rickey breaks Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb's records?Yeah, Rickey wanted a Winnebago.
Steve: I don't know. We'll give you some crystal.
Rickey: Who's Crystal?
Steve: You know, like Tiffany's.
Rickey: Who's Tiffany?
Steve: You know it's like a piece of glass. A bowl if you will.
Rickey: No, I won't. Man, who wants a piece of glass? Rickey wants one of those things John Madden drives around in so Rickey can tour the country.
A-Rod wanted an office in Shea for his marketing guy. I'm no marketing guru but I'm pretty sure October Choke doesn't sell in Flushing no matter how you package it.
Houston manager Phil Garner also appeared on the Big Show and discussed Clemens and his special privileges. Apparently Clemens asked to stay home so he could attend his son's games yet Garner would see him playing golf in Hollywood during away trips.
Everyone on the Yankees is required to have a haircut you can set your watch to and now Clemens rolls in to pick up $28M pro-rated and he'll only travel during away trips on which he's scheduled to pitch. It's rare that I agree with or listen to anything David Wells has to say but he's spot on when he criticized Clemens.
Trapper John was good enough to remind us that Clemens demanded and was given the privilege of a daily wake-up blowjob from Brian Cashman. Rumor has it Michael Kay threw a tantrum when he learned he wouldn't be able to blow Clemens but Steinbrenner offered him the option of sucking off Scott Proctor and Doug Mientkiewicz which he happily accepted.
We can't wait until A-Rod forces Cashman to renegotiate and holds out for a posse of Thai ladyboys to service his every need.
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