What's Gary Sheffield's Prediction For The Cleveland Indians? Pain...

Aw shit. Fausto Carmona done woke up the beast. Gary Sheffield's about black some Cleveland eyes like peas. I can see it now. An angry Shef vows revenge as though someone killed his family while standing in front of the flaming Cuyahoga River with one fist clenched and the other shaking with impotent rage. One by one, he pursues and eliminates everyone who did him wrong last Friday night until all accounts are settled. By the time he's done, everyone will know that "if you mess with Sheffield ... 'It's on'."

Shef is still pissed about last week's fight that resulted in suspensions for him as well as Cleveland's Fausto Carmona, Victor Martinez and Asdrubal Cabrera. In fact, he's so pissed that he's gonna eat lightning and crap thunder until it's done.

... Detroit's designated hitter said he still plans to get even with those players who joined the fray to punch him instead of being peacemakers.

"When guys take cheap shots, I take that personally," he said. "When I find out who they are, they'll have to deal with me.

"It will never end until I get you. That's just the way it is. I don't mess with nobody. I don't bother anybody, but when you bother me, it's on. It could be off the field, on the field, it doesn't matter.

"I don't care about what the league thinks or about what they do. I have enough money to cover any fine they've got, trust me."

Shef promised to follow up on [Vice-President of On Field Operations for Baseball] Bob Watson's penalties and "[penalize the Cleveland players] too". He'll pursue them to hell and back. Maybe he'll get them tomorrow. Maybe a week from now. Maybe a year. He could even wait until they hold their retirement press conferences and blubber like little bitches in front of the press.



Fausto Carmona's dad: Why don't you get the hell out of here!"
Shef: "Shut up, old man! I ain't goin' nowhere!"
Carmona: "You know you got a big mouth."
Shef: "Why don't you come down here and close it for me, Carmona!"
Shef (to Carmona's wife): "Hey woman! Hey woman! Listen here, since your old man ain't got no heart, maybe you'd like to see a real man. I bet you stay up late every night dreaming you had a real man, don't you. I'll tell you what. Bring your pretty little self over to my apartment tonight and Shef'll show you a real man."

You have been warned. Gary Sheffield will destroy any man who tries to take what he has. You probably shouldn't worry. The list of takers is so long, he probably won't get to you. He still has to deal with Joe Torre, Derek Jeter, Bill Spiers, Jesus, Grimace and that non-flying fuck Ralph Hinckley.