Some Folk'll Never Wrestle A Pig But Then Again Some Folk'll

Stories like these make me ashamed to be from Maryland. Sorry, Murland.

Spring Meadow Farms in Baltimore Country held a pig wrestling jamboree this past weekend to the dismay of county officials and PETA. Owner Stan Dabkowski fought the power and held the event even though he was threatened with protests and county code violations.

Twenty groups of four-member teams took turns attempting to corral pigs and place them in a round, shallow water trough for a $150 prize. Each had 90 seconds to do so. Some were able to do it in as few as 25 seconds.

Let me say that I, for one, am offended. The pig is a wonderful, magical animal and unlike those who would disparage it, I find it to be quite halal and kosher. Oink vey indeed! What other animal gives us pork, sausage and bacon? It's a literal food factory and people are defiling it for their pleasure. Let us not even speak about their intelligence. If the pig had opposable thumbs, I would be wary of facing it in a game of backgammon. If the pig could speak, I would love to discuss Wittgenstein, Heidegger and the Marquis de Sade with the pig over said game of backgammon. Instead some yokels force the pigs into corrals for their amusement and don't even partake in their sweet, sweet deliciousness. For shame! Save the salted meats! I'm furious. I'm gonna go complain to my purents.