Watching the Wizards lose away to the Knicks last Tuesday surrounded by Knicks fans was bad enough. I was abused worse than Mr. Horton on Dudley about the Wizards' uniforms. You know, they were right. Seriously, what the hell is going on with these uniforms?
Who designed these uniforms? Whoever did it should be held criminally responsible. They make the Wizards look like a flamboyant Globetrotters opponent. Why don't they come out to the Pet Shop Boys' "New York City Boy"? Maybe they can change it to "Chocolate City Boy" to hold DC down. If that doesn't work, What Is Love is a solid fallback.
The way I see it there are three suspects: some daughter/granddaughter of Abe Pollin, some Project Runway reject and Mase.
The daughter of a senile, rich old man would have the ability to create something so gaudy. Pollin changed the name of the team from Bullets to Wizards so we know he's soft. A large cry rose and was instantly silenced in PG County when that happened. "Daddy, I don't like the uniforms. Can I make new ones?? I'll make them shiny and put lots of stars! Yay cookies!"
Some girl gave me the idea about Project Runway cause you know I don't watch that. Please believe me! Apparently the contestants have no idea how to make men's clothes. When they do, it's usually a disaster like when they tried to make a suit for Tiki Barber. I wouldn't know. You believe me, right?
My money's on one Mr. Mason Betha. How can you watch this and not figure that he had a hand in this debacle? Shiny clothes. Check. Cheesedick. Check. He has to be a prime suspect. You could easily see him rocking this uniform in a Bad Boy video. However it's rumored that he's now down with the G-Unit and I can't imagine Fiddy tolerating nonsense like this. The only way shiny and basketball work together (without jewelry or grills) is when the shine is on a platinum tank.
There's only one solution to this. Go back to Les Boulez stat. Bring back the red uniforms. Bring back the red, white and blue uniforms. Bring back the memories of John "Hot Plate" Williams, Never Nervous Pervis and Maunte Bol.
2 comments:
To be honest...I really don't think the gold unis are that bad. But I'm definitely in the minority.
Great pic of Jamison and BTH though....their facial expression says it all.
Regardless.....yea, they never should've changed the team name in the first place. At least the Caps were in the position to go back to the good ol' Red, White and Blue.
But that's our Abe Pollin....anything to make a buck....even if it means telling the public that you're changing the franchise name because of violence.
I'm sure grandpa Abe thinks he's save thousands of lives with that one....
I don't have much of a problem with the gold unis either. I think that lame teal stuff is much worse. Plus, how about putting the city on the road jerseys? A classic script WASHINGTON would look much better. No other NBA team puts the nickname on all jerseys ...
Great post though. Hot Plate and Never Nervous? Fresh. How about Googs or Big George?
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