It's All Hilal, Baby

Integrity is Job #1 at Manchester United. Throw enough money at them and they'll bring the whole team and lose if you want.

Man U took a shitload of money to travel to Saudi Arabia and play Al-Hilal in a testimonial match for Saudi international Sami al-Jaber. They ended up losing 3-2 in front of thousands of fans screaming like little girls. I only say like because women aren't allowed in the stadiums and it was reported that every Ronaldo touch "brought high-pitched screams from the Saudi supporters".

Oh that Roony is dreamy.

Either United got the payoff UNLV-style or there was no way Al-Hilal would be allowed to lose.

Referee Saad al-Kathery appeared determined to edge Al Hilal towards victory judging by his decision to award another penalty early in the second-half.

Nobody could understand the decision, least of the all the protesting Wayne Rooney, but Al Shalhob shot wide of goal to ensure that justice was done.

Well sometimes you gotta take one for the team like a prisoner of an Afghan warlord.

Since we did a shameless plug for a friend yesterday, we'll do it again and further damage our integrity. You know, speaking of halal, DC residents and visitors must try El Khartoum on the corner of Florida Ave. and 18th Street in Adams Morgan. I'm pretty sure your money won't be going towards more slaughter in Darfur. If it does, I've got massive amounts of tasty blood on my hands. Just don't tell Don Cheadle and George Clooney.