What's The Matter? You Burnin?

"Johnny, please report to the nurse's office. Your jumbo pack of Valtrex is here."

You have to feeling for the wrestling team at Gustine High. The principal might as well have called them up in front of the entire school to give them the mother of all cockpunches while he or she was at it after throwing them under the bus.

Gustine High officials announced to student and teachers that there was a herpes outbreak at the school. Word quickly spread that the wrestling team was hit by the outbreak.

An announcement was made over the school intercom informing students and teachers of a herpes outbreak.

...A recorded message was sent by phone to the students’ parents informing them of the outbreak at school. “That message did not single out or identify any individual or group of students who may have contacted or been exposed to the skin condition,” the school’s press release insisted.

...“We can’t walk down the hallway without someone yelling, ‘Herpes!’” said senior wrestler Zane Atkins. “Kids, teachers who usually shake our hand — they don’t want anything to do with us.”

One problem. The wrestlers didn't have the herp. One of them thought it might be herpes gladiatorum or staphylococcus aureus and it turned out to be the latter. However the school decided to go apeshit before the final results were gone and blow up the wrestler's spot.

The school denied leaking the fact that the wrestling team was involved but a school employee said that he saw a Spanish language version of the parental notice and the wrestling team was involved. Ay dios mio!