Week 2 is almost done, and the roundup is all you're getting today, sorry kids. Myself, I was eating grilled meat by the truckload and sucking down cold beers for most the day yesterday, Mustafa was on the train from Bawlmer back up to the NYC...then got sucked into going out upon his arrival in the big apple. Needless to say, no work on the blog was done. So here's what I can do while going around the firewall at work. The Redskins and the Eagles play tonight, and you best believe that I am going to be stone cold sober for this one. That's right, not drunk at all. I am not even going out. I am locking myself away in my apartment and studiously watching the game. Its a big matchup, first NFC east game for both teams. Should be brutal. I may live-blog...or i may rip a bunch of cds to my mp3 player. We shall see.
Lets wrap up Week 2 right now, story of the week...only 3 favorites covered the spread. Vegas and bookmakers are very happy this morning:
• Jacksonville 13, Atlanta 7
Underdog covered the spread - Jacksonville's defense comes back alive and Atlanta's offense looks just as shitty as it should. Harrington is obviously not the answer, yet the team wont do anything about it. Staying the course is only gonna get these guys a 1st round draft pick in the top 5. WTF happened to MJD and Fragile Freddy? Why are the Jaguars trying to become the greatest show in the south with their aerial attack? Del Rio is trying to justify Garrard as the QB...he doesn't have to, just play your game man, run that ball.
• Houston 34, Carolina 21
Underdog won - Houston is coming alive! Kubiak and Schaub make for a perfect mix. Efficient QB play, solid ground game with the veteran (ie: old) Ahman Green and Ron Dayne (yea i said it! he had more carries than Green, watch out fantasy footballers!). AJ is a beast, no one can stop him. Carolina played with 1/2 an offense, their ground game ground to a halt. Can't win that way boys. MAN THE FUCK UP! RUN THE BALL! There is a theme here already.
• Tampa Bay 31, New Orleans 14
Underdog won - The hell is wrong in New Orleans? What didnt they do before this season? If you get railed by the buccaneers, there is a serious flaw in your team. Their safeties got eaten alive by Galloway and their offense, for the 2nd week, was pure shit. Colston came alive this week tho, so ya know, they got that going for them. What happened to Reggie Bush? Its never good when the 2nd coming is being out performed by Lamont Jordan.
• Pittsburgh 26, Buffalo 3
Favorite beat the spread - Pittsburgh is rolling, there is no stopping Big Ben Roethliwindhieldbrokemyfuckingfacesberger unless you're the windshield of a car he's running into. He didn't have to beat Buffalo this game though, the ground attack was in full force with big play Willie Parker pounding it home like Ron Jeremy. JP Losman...GOD you suck and you sound like a little girl when you talk. How does anyone on the team respect you? The only playmaker on this team is the rookie Marshawn Lynch.
• Green Bay 35, N.Y. Giants 13Underdog won - Elisha and Lorenzen both get knocked out of the game, strong performance by the Packers D. I love that fat fuck Jared Lorenzen however...he needs to play more. I cannot help but giggle every time that guy wobbles back to throw the ball. Somehow with the ancient Brett Farve leading the way, the Pack is 2-0 with 2 wins against NFC East teams...all with zero running game to speak of. No runner has gone over 50 yards in a game for them yet. They are defying the laws of football here...it will come back to haunt them.
• San Francisco 17, St. Louis 16
Underdog won - What happened to the Rams? They had offensive line problems last year, with Pace out, and were fine?! This year, their line can't open a hole for Jackson in the least. SJax has yet to top 100 yards in a game...shit he barely has 100 yards on the season! They are in trouble...meanwhile the 49ers are teasing us with their performance...I think they look better than they are. Watch for a disappointing 2nd half outta them, not their time yet.
• Indianapolis 22, Tennessee 20
Underdog covered the spread - I don't understand how this game was this close. The Colts are twice as talented as the titans, yet somehow, they win by only 2 points. Perhaps its a case of Indy playing down to their opponent, or the Titans are really not that far away from being a decent team. Solid D, someone every week is running the ball well and every week Vince Young learns a little more about passing the ball. If they ever get some receivers, watch out league.
• Cleveland 51, Cincinnati 45
Underdog won - Derek Fucking Anderson! When did he start playing football? The only relevant Derek Anderson has been toiling away in the NBA the last few years. Who the fuck is this guy trying to become the new face of Derek Anderson? The Bengals should never lose when Palmer throws 6 TD's, its a fact, look it up, but they did and now my world is ruined. I dont know anything anymore...
• Denver 23, Oakland 20 (OT)Underdog covered the spread - Oakland is better than some might think, they wont win much, but they will play games close and cover the spread. Denver is winning games with smoke and mirrors. Cutler looks like a QB who hasn't played in the NFL before, but he has yet to cost them a win. Henry is making the offense go, God help them when his annual physical breakdown occurs. Lamont Jordan is looking like he took some tasty HGH in the offseason, rediscovering the power that made him a starter for the Jets.
• Baltimore 20, N.Y. Jets 13
Underdog covered the spread - Notice a trend here with the underdogs? The J-E-T-S suck and apparently, they really need Pennington to have any chance this year. He'd better get healthy quick, Clements played about 1 good quarter in this one...unfortunately it was the 4th quarter.
• Chicago 20, Kansas City 10
Underdog covered the spread - Sexy Rexy continues to disappoint, but at least the Bears get a win. Devin Hester is still sick on the returns, why does anyone kick to this guy? If your special teams is not on point, they will get burned like a fucking witch in Salem, Mass. "Hey Herm...fuck you!" signed Trent Green.
• Arizona 23, Seattle 20
Underdog won - Seattle just cannot get it done and looks uninspiring for the 2nd week in a row. Drink some fucking starbucks there and wake the fuck up Seahawks! Edge looks like he downed a few glasses of delicious HGH and ran for over 125 yards, while Leinart looked capable for at least this week.
• Dallas 37, Miami 20
Favorite covered the spread - Dallas keeps rolling. Their offense is outta control, putting up over 35 points in week 1 and 2 each. Should be fun watching them against the Bears D in week 3. Miami could not compete and looks like a long season for the 'fins. Ronnie Brown...what the fuck is wrong with you? You are letting Jesse Chapman take your fucking job! Grow a pair and run hard you asshole! I think you need some HGH my friend.
• Detroit 20, Minnesota 17 (OT)
Favorite won, push - Amazing that the Lions juggernaut continues to pile up the wins, week after week. They had some dude named J.T. O'Sullivan (really sounds like a cheesy corporate irish bar done up TGIFridays or Bennigans style, right? "Come to J.T. O'Sullivan's! Come for the beer, stay for the corned beef and hash!")come in and nearly lose the game for them, but they pulled it out in OT against a surprisingly effective Minnesota team...even with Tavaris' 4 interceptions. Damn he sucks...they need to implement the wishbone offense and never EVER throw the ball again. Adrian Peterson looked mortal this week...that wont happen often.
• New England 38, San Diego 14
Favorites covered the spread - Do not anger the Patriots you wont like them when they are angry. San Diego...you look like shit. Norville is going to ruin you guys...trust me, i'm a Redskins fan, I know. I bet that bitch was crying in the locker room at halftime.
Panthers photo by AP Photo/Rick Havner
Lorenzen photo by Chris McGrath/Getty Images
Jordan photo by AP Photo/Jack Dempsey
Romo Photo by Elliot J. Schechter/Getty Images
No comments:
Post a Comment