Mourning Back For 1 More Year of Sucking

It took three months for Alonzo Mourning to decide what to do for the upcoming NBA season and he chose to test that new kidney a little more. That's right, he's coming back for 1 last year and taking home a cool $2,762,500 for another season of blocking shots, making Shaq look in shape and otherwise sucking a big fat one on the basketball court.

"I want to redeem myself and try to help this team redeem ourselves as an organization and try to get back on track," Mourning said. "That wasn't the Miami team you saw in the playoffs last year. ... I was embarrassed. I was truly embarrassed by that outcome. I know for a fact we're a better team. It left a sour taste in my mouth and it's time to really end it all on the right note."

Wait, he doesn't want to be embarrassed?? He is 37 years old and while missing only 6 games last year, quite a feat for playing with only 1 original kidney, he averaged 8.6ppg/4.5rpg/2.3bpg all while playing 20 minutes a game. He shot an admirable .560 from the field but an almost Shaq-like .600 from the free throw line. His PER for the season was 16.76 (only b/c he blocked 2.3 shots in his 20 mpg) leaving him just behind the comparatively awesome Nenad Krstic and Zaza Pachulia in the famed Hollinger Player Efficiency Ratings. None of these numbers can possibly go up from last year.

Ok, his blocked shots are good, I mean the last time Dikembe blocked that many shots a game was way back in 01-02 in a Sixers uniform and he is somehow still in the league but really, Mourning achieves high levels of suckdom in every other aspect of the sport of basketball. His points and rebounds per game has been on a steady decline since 2001 while his blocks remain nearly the same. Know what this means? He is standing in the paint waiting to block a shot leaving himself in poor rebounding position, then is too slow to get back to the other end of the court and score because...he is 37 years old and has a kidney that did not come pre-packaged in his body.

Granted teams like the Wizards are still on the hook for players like Etan Thomas and Brendan Haywood who make a ton more with not much better output but at least they still hold the promise that they can get better and their PER's are 15.6 and 14.2. Mourning hasn't been that productive since 2003, he is, and has been for awhile, going downhill.

This is nothing against Alonzo as a person, he, by all appearances, is a great and very charitable guy, having done some wonderful things for healthy and sick people alike...but he should hang it up. Its no longer inspirational. Its getting to be a little sad. I'm not a Heat fan, but I did grow up watching Georgetown play some great basketball from my parent's suburban MD home, I want to remember 'Zo like I used to, not now. You never want to see a player pull a Willy Mays...and tell Dikembe to quit playin too.

From ABC News
Stats From Basketball Reference.com