Ken Griffey Disease is what we have. It's not who we are.That's right. They may be overpaid and underworked but victims of Ken Griffey's Disease are just like you and me...if we had houses with stripper poles, cars with 22s, a ho in every city and a multimillion dollar bank account.
The most recent victim is South Sydney captain David Kidwell who took a dive at a barbie and twisted his leg in order to avoid crushing his two-year old daughter. He ruptured his cruciate and medial ligaments and is out for the season.
"I don't blame her in any way. It's just a freak accident. I look forward to telling the story at her 21st (birthday), how she took her old man out."Kidwell had no comment on rumors that he was going to feed his daughter to a bunch of Tasmanian Devils or make her work off his missed salary for the season in the salt mines of Tasmania.
Team owner Russell Crowe, who was at the cookout, was rumored to have shown a thumbs down and released his pack of dingos on Kidwell who was rolling around in agony.
New Zealand national rugby coach Brian McClennan was good enough to keep things in perspective.
"And there's a note going out to all players as we speak: that there's no to be no more barbecues from now on."
Fellow Griffey's Disease sufferer Brian Griese offered his support and words of advice.
"I remember when I took a dive in Terrell Davis' driveway and fell over a dog. People said I was shitfaced and drank enough to down a wildebeest. Instead of saying I was a Griffey's Disease sufferer, I hid my shame and said I wasn't drunk. I wish I had the courage to come out and admit that it didn't determine who I was. My dad did. Kiddy can get over this and has to come out and learn Australia."
Godspeed Kiddy godspeed.
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