Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Don't Even Ask About His Left Nut

Although you might not be crazy about it at first, you're going to see plenty more cricket posts here at the Deuce, because A) a wise man once said that niche blogging is the key to increased readership, and we're all about massaging our demographics to eventually make mad AdWords loot; B) aside from our long-term financial planning, I actually love cricket; C) the Cricket World Cup in the West Indies is just around the corner, and; D) because the world of cricket, far from resembling the stereotype of a starchy reserve of cucumber-sandwich eaters, is fucking insane.

Don't believe me? Meet Jacob Oram. Oram is a New Zealand all-rounder (that is, a player who is reasonably effective as both a batsman and a bowler. Not many good analogies in baseball, but think Livan Hernandez.) who has really come into his own in the last few months, and was one of the stars of the recent tri-series between NZ, Australia, and England. If NZ are going to have a serious run at the World Cup title, they need Oram to be healthy, especially in light of his outstanding recent batting form. Unfortunately, Oram busted his left ring finger making a catch against Australia earlier in the month, and the pain is threatening to sideline him through the big tourney. But Jacob's got a solution: if the finger is hurting, just cut off the finger.


Desperate to take part in the World Cup, New Zealand all-rounder Jacob Oram has said he would seriously consider amputating his injured ring finger to make it to the Caribbean for the mega event.

Oram, who broke his finger during the Chappell-Hadlee Trophy match, said he was not sure how his finger was healing under the protective strapping.

"The plan is get to the West Indies, whip it off and assess the inflammation... If it means cutting the finger off, if that's the worse-case scenario, if that's the last resort, I'll do that, there's no way I'm missing this," he was quoted as saying in the New Zealand media.


That, my friends, is hardcore. Byron Leftwich is a fucking pussy.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ronnie Lott shrugs his shouldsers and goes about his business.

tc said...

Yeah, there is no analogy in baseball. These are world-class bowlers and also excellent batters. Usually, bowlers (like pitchers) are crap batters, but occasionally, there are guys (a legendary Englishman named Ian Botham in the late '70s and early '80s and a current player named Andrew Flintoff; I know there are more but I'm English, living in the States, and a casual fan) who can bat-to use a baseball analogy-clean-up, or as a power hitter. All-rounders are rare and of course very well-regarded.

Mephistopheles said...

Blog rolled...

All-rounders are dime a dozen. Good all-rounders are rare though. Kallis and Flintoff are top notch. If you start considering wicket-keepers as all-rounders, the number goes up.

tc said...

Kallis eh? I've heard the name...but like I said, I have only been able to follow cricket fairly casually over here.