Orlando Brown Wants His Ex-Wife To Dial His Fart

Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer!

The Deuce finds Orlando Brown's lack of creativity disturbing. How dare he attempt to mimic Deuce patron saint Najeh Davenport? There's only one Deuce and he's a model in Pittsburgh. You wanna make some magic? Do something original. Breaking in a residence and dropping a deuce is played out like Kwame and the fucking polka dots. Who rock the spot? Biggie!

Former Brown and Raven Brown was arrested for breaking into his ex-wife's foreclosed house and trashing it.

According to court documents, Mira Brown accused her former husband of entering her home while she was away on vacation. The two have been divorced since 2004.

While she was on vacation July 21 through Aug. 28, someone broke the front storm door, entered her home, tore down the basement curtains, defecated in a basement toilet and ransacked her closet, according to court documents.

She also received two text messages from Orlando Brown's phone before she returned, one of which stated that he had toured her house, the records say.

Deuce fail. If you're going to break into someone's place and drop a deuce, make it count. Najeh thinks the closet is a fine place to start. If you choose to be classy and drop one in the vicinity of a toilet, make it an upper decker. Make a Jackson Pollock in a room of your choosing. Perhaps one with carpet and plenty of upholstery. The possibilities are endless. Maybe we're being too hard on Orlando. It's bad enough being named after Orlando Jones. Combine that with getting an angry pirate from Jeff Triplette and it's easy to see how a washed up OT might lose his mind.