Then That Rourke Pu**y Had To Come And Ruin It All

I'll tell you somethin'. I hate the fuckin' movies. Make one decent movie and all of a sudden you think you're an expert on rock and wrestling. There's not much worse than an actor who thinks that playing a role makes him capable of doing the same thing in real ... well, fake life. Shortly after coming back from the dead, Mickey Rourke took on Chris Jericho during Wrestlemania in April. Great Muta in the morning. What the hell is happening to wrestling? The Junkyard Dog would roll over in his grave if he saw the state of the sport today. Unfortunately he won't roll because he's dead.

Thank Gwar for saving wrestling from the likes of Rourke. Frontman Oderus Urungus is stepping into the squared circle to take on Tracy Smothers in West Virginia on June 24.

In a statement to rock news website Blabbermouth.net, the rocker says, "I have no idea how I got roped into this one. I guess someone is making money off it.

"I will be there with bells on, and this Tracy Smothers so-and-so is going to find out just what it's like to go toe-to-toe with an intergalactic god! I just hope he shaves his armpits first."

Whooo! When Smothers gets a taste of Urungus' Meat Sandwich finishing move, he'll finally know what it's like to get rocked to sleep. All respect due to the Honky Tonk Man and the Shake Rattle and Roll.



Picture: Brooklyn Vegan