Friday, November 30, 2007
First off, let us say fuck the NFL for making it harder to watch football and trying to blame it on the cable companies. In spite of the bullshit they're trying to pull against FCC chairman Kevin Martin, we actually sympathize with them when it comes to their fight with the NFL Network. Sympathizing with cable companies and Kevin Martin. What's next? Feeling bad about Ian Smith's passing?
We were forced to go to a drinking establishment to watch the Packers-Cowboys game at BW3's last night. Yes, there's a BW3 in New York. It got to the point where we were sitting at our table wearing a Packers construction hat and cheesehead trying to force feed ourselves more wings even though we couldn't breathe. Fuck yeah.
Most people were focused on the football game when someone yelled, "Oh shit, check this shit out!" We turned around and looked at a small tv which had the Knicks-Celtics game on. The Knicks had 39 points towards the end of the 3rd quarter. After a moment of silence, our entire section fell over laughing and for a brief moment, Packers and Cowboys fans bonded.
The Knicks ended up losing 104-59 in the 3rd worst loss in franchise history. There's really not much to say except that I'm beginning to love the Knicks. They have to keep this current setup together.
We'll leave you with the words of Kevin Garnett talking about future Hall of Famer Starbury.
"Steph's different from how he was in Minnesota," Garnett said. "You just don't come out and quit. You got to have a reason or someone has to make you quit."
There's been quite a bit of back and forth about the killing of Sean Taylor this past week. The Deuce has certainly had a lot to say about as have blowhards like Michael Wilbon and Len Shapiro. In our haste to find some sort of logic or explanation behind Taylor's death, we seem to have forgotten where the focus should lie. Thankfully, we have Ray Lewis for that.
"I understand the magnitude of this game with the Patriots and everything coming in, but the bottom line is, I was more than a friend to Sean Taylor. I was someone he definitely looked up to, and bottom line, it's unfortunate that situations happen like this. When they do happen like this, some things pull you away from everything else that everybody else wants you to worry about. This right here is life. It doesn't change. Life is, once it's gone, it's gone.I have an idea what you can stop being selfish about. Who's this supposed to be about now? Oh yeah, what's his face. I know who I want around when I suffer a personal loss.
"For me, as a man, there's a lot that, as a man, I'm going through right now. That I have to ask God for my strength and my faith, to keep pushing on through life, and keep encouraging young men to do the right things here and there. To think about anything else, really, outside of trying to find a way to really deal with my personal feelings, I think it would be very selfish of me to even try to comment on anything without trying to create something that I probably would be making up.
"As a man, I would just ask for you guys, sympathy just to understand that right now is a very challenging time. Not just for me, for the University of Miami family, everybody. You don't lose a 24-year old kid with that much promise in life like this, it makes you take a step back. For me, it made me take a huge, huge step back. To ask God, what is it that you want me to do, what is it that you want me to stop being selfish about, and things like that.
"If anything, the game is going to take care of itself. I'm just going to get through this weekend, hopefully help a lot of my teammates get through this week as well as a lot of the Hurricane family. We're just going to go from there. "
"Yeah man, that's some tough shit you're going through and you gotta ask God about that but see man, I'm hungry and I gotta eat. My stomach is killing me. You gonna finish that? Yeah, I didn't think so. Why don't you ask me about how I'm doing? Brother, I feel pain too but I'm doing something about it. You should too."
Ray Ray's usually my boy but a little thought for Taylor's family might be more appropriate at a time like this. I'm sure he has plenty of other people that look up to him like Ed Reed, OJ Simpson... Damn, I said I wouldn't go there.
Oh I just got off the phone with God. I know what he wants you to do. He wants you to make better BBQ and rip Tom Brady's dreamy head off on Monday night.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Michael Wilbon has already gone on record as twisting facts about Sean Taylor by saying:
I know how I feel about Taylor, and this latest news isn’t surprising in the least, not to me. Whether this incident is or isn’t random, Taylor grew up in a violent world, embraced it, claimed it, loved to run in it and refused to divorce himself from it. He ain’t the first and won’t be the last. We have no idea what happened, or if what we know now will be revised later. It’s sad, yes, but hardly surprising.
But Len Shapiro for the Washington Post took the cake by comparing Sean Taylor to Pacman Jones and Tank Johnson:
At the moment, it is far too soon to draw any conclusions as to how or why this tragedy occurred, why another young black man is now dead from a gunshot wound in his own home, why another athlete, Michael Vick, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson, and now Sean Taylor becomes headline news for all the wrong reasons... Still, could anyone honestly say they never saw this coming? You'd have to be blind not to consider Taylor's checkered past.
I need to know how because he missed league meetings and conversations with his head coach is that a checkered past? I want to know how because Sean Taylor never was convicted of any crime, is Sean Taylor suddenly running with gangs and embracing a thug life? He once plead down to a no contest plea, that is not convicted or considered guilty, for supposedly chasing down people who stole his ATV with a gun. In other words, getting his property back. There is no mention of the prosecutor who was using this case as advertising for his evening DJ'ing gig. There is no mention that the ONLY other time that Sean Taylor had a run in with the law was a DUI which the judge himself threw out of court due to no basis for him being arrested. I need to know why if Sean Taylor hasn't divorced himself from his past, has every one he knew, to a man, said that in the past 2 years, he has become a different and even better man than he was before.
Len Shapiro and Michael Wilbon do not know Sean Taylor any more than us fans here in Washington do. The reason for this is, he never talked to them, us, or any of the media, and the media as a whole does not like anyone who doesn't talk to them. It has happened time and time again that if someone spurns the media, they turn on him and make that person into a bad guy, a rebel, because they do not fall in line and do what the others do.
Being a young black male, missing meetings and being charged but never being convicted of any crime is enough for the old school press to label him a gang banger or at the very least, running with the wrong crowd. Michael Wilbon does not know what crowd Sean Taylor ran with, he never spoke to him. His own coach said that he enjoyed Sean Taylor's friends just yesterday in a public address, if nearly 70 year old Joe Gibbs likes his friends, then what kind of crowd must Sean Taylor run with? People say his past caught up with him and they are not surprised, but that is a faulty assumption based off of what they think his personal life entailed. The truth is, they have no idea.
The truth is, no one knows except himself, his family, close friends and a select few teammates that hung with him...and no one, not Michael Wilbon, not Len Shapiro, NO ONE, has ANY right to say anything disparaging about Sean Taylor personal life because anyone who does say anything bad has no idea what Sean Taylor was doing aside from football.
To label him a gangbanger, a thug, a guy who ran in the wrong circles, a guy who "ran in a violent world, embraced it, claimed it" is a fallacy based off of what you assume he did because he was a young black man who did not always follow the establishment's rules. Anyone who labels him any of this must be as threatened by him as wide-receivers who would not cross the middle of the field while he was around.
To the fans, he signed every autograph, he talked and smiled to them. To his friends, he was a happy, friendly guy they wanted to hang around. To his teammates he was a leader and a player who's work ethic was to be admired. To his family, he was a loving father, son, brother, and partner. Not a single person has had anything bad to say about him besides the media, as indicative of Michael Wilbon and Len Shapiro of the Post. What does that say more for the media and the establishment/corporate America than Sean Taylor?
It is a sad indictment indeed. I once was a great fan of the writings of both those Washington Post scribes, but I fear both have lost a great level of respect with me for their words against a great Washington Redskin that was portrayed by the media as a bad guy, but was really a quiet misunderstood man who never cared enough about the media to change their view of him. Their view of him didn't matter, the fans knew, and he was just a man who just wanted to play football the right way and raise his child as best he could.
His former teammate and friend Ryan Clark said it best in the Redskins Insider yesterday:
"Every time they show something about [t]his they show his legalities and things like that, but that's not who he was," Clark said. "it paints a picture like he lived a certain way, so he deserved to go a certain way. But he was a good man and good talent who had become a great man, and I'm said all the people want to focus on is the negative. He was a 24-year-old kid, a brother and a father who passed away.
Shame on you Michael Wilbon, Len Shapiro and anyone else in the media that is using this tragic event to help your career and to get on television more while misconstruing facts to further stereotypes, assumptions and generalizations about a man you knew nothing about. Shame on you all for murdering Sean Taylor again in the media. I am not a praying man, but I pray for your souls.
Mary Ann Chumley said she was struck on the foot by a stray pellet on Oct. 20 in an incident she characterized as an accident. She said Knight apologized for hunting too close to her barn and she forgave him.
Another resident near the dove field said the coach and another hunter returned the next day and one of them intentionally fired a shotgun in his direction.
James Simpson told Lubbock police he was struck on the neck and back by pellets after yelling at Knight and another man he believed were hunting too close to his house. Simpson's backyard is about 100 yards from where Chumley was struck the previous day.
Bobby Knight's reaction to these accusations was, at the very least, predictable
"That's all been taken care of, that's over with," Knight said. "You haven't heard anything from that guy for two weeks. That's done. I got no comment on that whatsoever because that's absolute [expletive.]"
Bobby Knight not listening to people? Bobby Knight getting upset when people tell him what to do? Bobby Knight getting mad at people for yelling at him? This is all brand new information! What isn't brand new information is that Knight is not a good hunter, in 1999 he actually shot a friend of his in the shoulder and back with 16 pellets of a 20 gauge shotgun. How is this man still allowed to carry a gun? He's shot at more people than OJ!
Some of the worst actually use the attack in their descriptions such as this autographed color photo signed by Sean Taylor starting at $138.50. Also is this action figure going up for sale for $150.00, but hey at least he says in the description he's not trying to capitalize on the death, that must make it better when he discusses it in his description for sale. This trading card sale which describes his attack going for $28.50. This autographed photo going for $26.00 that actually uses a RIP 1983-2007 photo in its sale.
There are plenty of others for sure, it is pretty amazing what people will do to make a buck.
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Update: Our commentary on the media's depiction of Sean Taylor is here
The News of the World reports that England players threw down at Wright-Phillips' birthday party which fell between crucial Euro 2008 qualifiers and all hell broke loose. The paper reported the following:
An unnamed top player on the national team got a blowjob then full on sex in the club basement while people walked on by.
[England and Chelsea captain John] Terry being so drunk he URINATED on the floor and in a cup. Another player begging two lapdancers for a THREESOME. Some guests getting so drunk that they VOMITED on the floor. An ugly SCUFFLE between Wright-Phillips and a female guest who dared to take his picture. Terry, missing from action through a knee injury, BOUNCING up and down on his bad leg with dancers.
"He was in a corridor where staff have their lockers behind the VIP area and you have to get to it by going through two doors. Obviously he had sneaked off hoping no one had seen him. He was p****d and didn't give a monkey's about anything. The girl gave him oral for ages and when I came back she was sitting in his lap having full sex."Meanwhile, Terry, who had been out injured, was dancing around a stripper pole and letting the ladies know that his penis is a mountain. (Link to video)
"They were grunting and bonking right in front of me. It's incredible that this should be going on so close to England becoming the laughing stock of Europe by not qualifying."
"Word got around they were there and several people came to have a look. One of the managers tried to get the player to stop but he was too gone."
"The manager was so stunned all he could come up with was, ‘What are you doing to my chair?'"
"He went up to dance on stage with two lapdancers. He was wriggling his hips and trying to dance all sexy with the girls."You'd think JT would have stopped there but he's the captain and as a friend of mine says, "Go big or go home!". He proceeded to piss all over the floor while trying to hit a plastic cup. Two other girls threw up on the floor after drinking too much Grey Goose and Moet.
"The pole-dancing area is up a couple of steps so everyone saw what was going on. He's really going for it and you can see the girls, who were wearing tiny tops and hotpants, were loving it. He even appears to be pretending to rub his groin as he turns to face them at one point."
"Certainly his movement is amazing. I'm surprised he was out so long with a knee injury because his dancing was pretty fast and furious."
Now that's what we at the Deuce call maximum effort. You leave it all in the club by the time you walk out. Set an example for those other national sides who think they can hang. God save the queen? Nah playboy. God save anyone who tries to roll with England and doesn't bring their A game.
Oh yeah, England lost 3-2 to Croatia the following Wednesday and were eliminated from the Euro 2008 finals.
Photo and video courtesy of News of the World.
Lesson #1: If you're going to get in a fight, make sure it's not with an Australian.
Lesson #2: If you're going to fight an Australian, don't fight an Australian sailor.
One American learned these rules the hard way after getting his arse handed to him in a sack by two Australian sailors at a house party.
You're probably wondering why the freedom haters beat down the American. Actually you probably assume they did it because they're Australian and you've seen the Road Warrior enough times to know how they act. You're halfway there. They were "arguing about the virtues of American versus Australian football".
The argument escalated and the American threatened to kill the Australians. Bad move, mate. The Australians beat the shit out of the American and broke his eye socket. They were booked on suspicion of assault with a deadly weapon. That would be their feet.
Australia should be forced to hand over a sacrifice for our sailors to beat like a red-headed stepchild. I suggest John Howard or Savage Garden.
Monday, November 26, 2007
That Prince looks like a predator. He should be more like that nice Michael Jackson boy.
According to police, Miami-Dade patrol officers received a call about 1:45 a.m. Monday that a homeowner had been shot in the leg. The homeowners told police he heard intruders at the rear door of the house, trying to pry it open.
The male homeowner went to investigate and a female in the house then heard a shot. Paramedics responded and found the victim, with a gunshot wound to the groin. He was airlifted to the Ryder Trauma Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital, police said. The shooting happened at 18050 Old Cutler Rd.
County property records list it as the address for Sean Taylor. It is a four-bath, four-bedroom house with a taxable value of $704,297.
Sportstalk 980 is reporting that a statement from the Redskins says that Sean Taylor is undergoing treatment at a hospital for a gunshot wound.
As a Redskins fan, i'll give you the word that were heard all across DC after this news came out... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
UPDATE: Sources at Sportstalk 980 say that Sean Taylor is in critical condition with a severed artery. Horrible news if all true.
UPDATE: Miami Herald now reporting he was shot in groin and/or leg and was airlifted from his residence to the hospital.
UPDATE: WSVN TV in Miami is reporting that Sean Taylor "was shot in the leg but the bullet struck the femoral artery and he has lost a lot of blood."
UPDATE: Local 10 in Miami is reporting that a family friend who wishes to not be identified told them that Sean Taylor had been shot twice.
UPDATE: 1:42pm - Sportstalk 980 is now reporting that Sean Taylor is in a coma at the hospital. It is not known whether it is an induced coma or if he fell into one on his own.
UPDATE: 3:15pm - The Miami Herald is all over the story with an excellent description of the events prior to the shooting. "The noises Sean Taylor and his girlfriend heard in their house early Monday turned out to be their worst nightmare.
At least one armed intruder had broken into the $900,000 Palmetto Bay house of the star NFL player and were at his bedroom door. Taylor rose from bed to investigate, and just outside his bedroom, was shot in the groin and critically wounded. He collapsed back into the room, where he breathed heavily as blood gushed from his wound, according to Taylor's lawyer and family friend, Richard Sharpstein."
Also, about his injuries, "Sharpstein said Taylor, 24, emerged from surgery about 12:30 p.m. but had lost a lot of blood and remained unconscious, possibly jeopardizing his brain. He is in intensive care and doctors have allowed his family to see him."
UPDATE: 4:15pm - ESPN.com has video of players reactions.
UPDATE: 7:03pm - Washington Post's Jason La Canforia is reporting:
"Les Carpenter, who is working the story for us in Miami, heard rumblings that Sean may have opened his eyes.
I have not been able to get that confirmed but just heard from a team offical that Sean is now responsive, which is obviously a turn for the best. I will continue working away to get more details, but this is obviously a turn for the better after Sean spent much of the day in a 'non-responsive and unconscious' state.
As the person put it: 'Finally, the first good news all day.' Let's hopes it's the first of more to come."
UPDATE: 7:11pm Jason La Canforia for the Washington Post has confirmation from Vinnie Cerrato that Sean Taylor has regained conciousness:
Vinny Cerrato just called us with confirmation.
"He was responsive to the doctor's requests to squeeze his hands and showed facial expressions. The doctors were very happy about that," Cerrato said " ... Two doctors came and told us they were excited about that."
Cerrato also confirmed my earlier reports about Sean being "non-responsive and unconscious." Cerrato said: "We'd heard all that and what they told us was to hope foir a miracle."
UPDATE: 9:18 Jason La Canforia provides more details from Redskins Insider. Apparently Sean Taylor flatlined twice during his 7 hour surgery and as of now, according to his attorney, has not opened his eyes, but has responded to doctor's stimuli. He is still in critical condition. This is one of the scariest and sadest moments in Redskins history. The Deuce's thoughts are with him and his family.
What better to open the restaurant with some classy A list celebrities like Ahmad Rashad! How "classy" is Jordan here showing up in jeans with a cranberry red sport coat, the man is worth like a half a million dollars, he couldn't do better than that? I also love that a casino that has 3 Jordan restaurants is the Mohegan Sun and not any Vegas casino or even an Atlantic City one, but an Indian casino in Connecticut that is really known best (and possibly only) for their large poker room. When asked why he put another restaurant here his answer was "Why not?", well i guess that is as good a reason as any.
- The Redskins will let no one beat them except themselves...and the Patriots.
- Chad Johnson scored 3 TDs doubling his TD catches this year.
- Romeo Crennel has his Browns playing like Mangini had his Jets playing last year...only with better players.
- Larry Johnson never looked more average with Kolby Smith rushing like LJ used to behind that line. He had 150 yards on 31 carries.
- Raiders snapped a 6 game losing streak beating a not so good Chiefs team.
- Gus Frerotte almost beat the Seahawks...until he remembered he was Gus Frerotte.
- The Seahawks are the worst looking NFC divisional leader.
- David Carr has to be DONE as a QB in the NFL after this game.
- Marques Colston is a beast, in his last 5 games, 584 yards receiving.
- Jacksonville is very underrated, especially with Garrard back, if they stay healthy they will make noise in the playoffs.
- Buffalo has fallen back to earth losing its last 2 games and having the 2nd lowest scoring offense in the AFC.
- Frank Gore finally looked like the player everyone drafted in the first round of fantasy leagues with 214 total yards.
- Kurt Warner's chronic fumblitis is still not cured...costing them the game.
- Edgerrin James should've taken less money to stay with the Colts if the wanted to maintain his legacy, he's just another guy now...albeit a rich guy.
- Adrian Peterson is back...wait, no its the other guy, in Chicago, who finally played for injured and piss poor Cedric Benson.
- Devin Hester is still the most dangerous return-man in the league scoring 2 td's in a win against the Broncos.
- Baltimore is in serious trouble, even with Boller playing efficiently they cannot do a thing on offense.
- Antonio Gates does not play down to his opponent, 105 yards, 2TDs in a win against the Ravens.
- Phillip Rivers looks like a pro against mediocre to bad teams, too bad he cannot do it when it really counts.
- New England was favored by 24 points and they won by 3 against the Eagles.
- AJ Feely is playing better football than McNabb.
- Eli Manning had no excuse for his horrible game against the Vikings throwing 4 Int's, 3 of which were returned for touchdowns.
- Tarvaris Jackson threw 12 passes for 129 yards, 60 of which came from 1 play...this is an NFL quarterback?
Photo by AP Photo/Bill Kostroun
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Campbell cried after Sunday's loss, angry with himself for a late-game interception on what overall was his best performance in the NFL. "It's tough, we keep losing all these close games and we're playing so hard as a team," he said. "You're fighting your hearts out and it seems like things don't go our way towards the end of games"
What the hell is that? Who the hell is Campbell, Dick Vermil? Norv Turner? Now, I am as big a fan as anyone of Jason Campbell, I think he's the quarterback that DC has been waiting decades for, but come on son, THERE IS NO CRYING IN FOOTBALL! You lost the game, you made some bad passes, your defense collapsed against a superior opponent in the 4th quarter, your coach made dubious calls...BUT DONT YOU DARE CRY ABOUT A LOSS??
Some people will say "At least he cares that much to actually cry," but I say bullshit, you don't inspire your fellow football players by crying, you make them pity you. I didn't see Romo crying after he botched a snap and hold on a field goal in the playoffs? I am rooting for you Jason, but grow a pair, if you want to take the next leap to greatness in the NFL, the first step is to stop your crying and just make some plays in the 4th quarter.
Maybe Jason just watched too much Rosie Grier in his youth:
From Washington Post
This past weekend in Denver, Vince Young's [fianc�e] and her entourage were spotted at a 'get high lounge.' They were in the VIP area and she was acting funny saying that all the "little people" should get out of her section.
She sounds like she is pure class to us, Vince. Way to be playa.
Check out a picture of her taken while smoking...something.
Shamelessly ripped from Mediatakeout.com
Here's some footage from Baltimore's NBC 11 where their sportscaster was interviewing Matt Stover after what they thought was the end of the game, but luckily Cleveland QB Derek Anderson was there to tell them "WE GOT OVERTIME FELLAS!". Not funny really, but still goes to show the utter confusion that was taking place at the end of regulation for that game. What a clusterfuck...Just so's ya know, our boy WCK at 100% Injury Rate was all over this as well.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Now run 'em! Gimme the loot! What can we say about another Liverpool player's house getting robbed? Tommy's come a long way since Trainspotting. He's gotten off the bad stuff and managed to become the hardest working player for Liverpool. Maybe his hard work will pay off on the field and he'll actually score.
His hard work has paid dividends off the field. Too bad it's paying off for someone else. Kuyt became the latest Liverpool player to be robbed while away doing his job. Thieves (we're assuming Liverpool fans) robbed his home while he was away on international duty last Thursday. It's unclear what was taken at the time besides his dignity and sense of well-being.
Fellow support group members/victims include Peter Crouch, Daniel Agger, Pepe Reina and Jerzy Dudek. It appears the more you suck, the safer you are at Liverpool. The lesson is never try. Just ask former Liverpool players Gabriel Paletta and Djibril Cisse.
Michael Jordan has way too much money. He's the colonel of the muthafuckin' tank. I wouldn’t be surprised if he bought Master P’s platinum tank from the Make ‘Em Say Uhh video. I'm sure Percy needs the money for his brother's bail or the And 1 tour bus that's stuck outside of Biloxi.
Speaking of Cash Money (M period Fresh comma, your wife is my baby mama) and No Limit, why hasn’t anyone suggested a merger? I’m sure the FTC, FCC, FICA or Freddie Foxx wouldn’t have a problem with these corporations combining forces like the Constructicons, Construda or whatever. There would be so much flossin’, there wouldn’t be a single cavity in Louisiana. I digress.
You know who else is impressed by MJ's holdings besides his wife? Charles Barkley.
"You have to look at it two ways," Barkley, now an analyst for TNT, said. " 'Wow, that's a lot of money. Wow, that's a lot of money.' Then the second way, 'Damn, Michael's got a lot of money.' … Personally I would have to have somebody else write the check. You've got to be so [ticked] to write that check."
Chimp Rage brought you the $168 million story last Monday. It doesn't matter how you look at it. That's a shitload of money. Sir Charles is probably thinking about all the bets he could throw down with that stash. Think how great it would be to roll with him and all that money. You could think of any bet and actually make it happen.
"I wonder if Kelly Osborne could eat a snow leopard before it eats her?"
"Sheeeit, only one way to find out! To the A380!"
There's no question Sir Charles would end up going out like Steve Fossett. It would probably be on a quest in Australia to find out how many Tasmanian Devils it would take to bring down Oliver Miller.
Link to Ebay Auction
Ray Kroc was one prescient burger flipper. This commercial is clearly a warning. If given the choice between letting Iran have nukes and allowing Payton Manning to sing or dance in a commercial, I'm not sure which one I'd choose.
Thanks to Idiotarod team member Moneyshot for the find.
"There are 256 Fortune 500 companies alone pouring millions upon millions of dollars into pushing the homosexual agenda,"
Hutcherson recently freaked out a bunch of rich people at a Microsoft shareholder's meeting (video to follow) stating that he is "one of the worst nightmares that this corporation can have. [He is] a black man, with a righteous cause, with a great deal and a whole host of powerful white people behind [himself]."
This right here, is one crazy motherfucker. You know he's crazy when he thinks that powerful white people really wanna help him. (ZING!) Anyway, methinks Kenny is trying too hard here. Perhaps he is trying to cover up something of his past? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time some super religious, megachurch leader who was seriously against homosexuality didn't get called out as being a little on the festive side themselves?
The Deuce doesn't want to get too political, but really, what is the big deal and how on earth does he think he can amass the necessary stock holdings to actually be able to influence any of Microsoft's policies? Its really quite far fetched. And what's next after this? Next thing you know we'll have bible-thumpers parading about being angry about a website that is based on one giant shit joke...oh wait, that is bound to happen now.
Shamelessly ripped from Gizmodo via Telegraph UK
Yeah I know it’s the wrong movie but Jackie Gleason’s fat and dead so I think I’m in the clear unless Jackie Mason wants to make Caddyshack III. Zing!
We got ourselves another Cannonball Run. The lead isn’t Burt Reynolds but a guy of German descent named Alex Roy who just completed a cross-country drive across 13 states in 31 hours and 4 minutes. It's kind of like Roadhouse 2. It just isn't the same without Jack Dalton.
Roy Boy started in New York and finished in Santa Monica. He covered a distance of 2794 miles and averaged 95 miles an hour. At times he reached 160 mph. He beat the record by over an hour.
His blue BMW was named “Team Polizei” which we just find endearing. We assume his clothing was designed by Hugo Boss. A better car would have been a brown BMW with a sidecar.
Take it back to the old school, playboy.
Monday, November 19, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
What the hell can you say? As a youth soccer coach from Tenneessee said today, Steve McClaren better be going to temple tonight. England have no business still being in contention for a place in Euro 2008 but somehow they're still in the hunt. Israel pulled off an upset and defeated Russia 2-1 with an injury time goal by Omer Golan. The result eliminated Russia and only requires England to get one point from their match with Croatia on Wednesday to advance to next year's finals. Hebrew Nationals and He'brews all around.
England still live in spite of McClown's best effort to sabotage any chance England had of winning this Wednesday. England played a friendly against Austria on Friday and Michael Owen started even though the squad's striker situation was precarious. Like the lame horse he is, Owen went down and is out for Wednesday's crucial match. His absence leaves the one and only Crouchigol as the lone option.
If England wins, the papers will start screaming about an England win next summer and glory for the queen. McClown will get a knighthood even before the tournament along with a contract extension until 2491.
In other Euro 2008 news, Italy slid through to the finals on a dodgy call as they beat a resilient Scotland 2-1. I was pulling for a Scotland win to go along with a Russian win. It would have been great to see the Scots win and England go out. The Scots would never let them live it down. However, a few English friends pointed out that an England win on Wednesday means less hooligans in London next summer so it's a must-win.
Here are your other results.
Finland 2 - Azerbaijan 1
Spain 3 - Sweden 0
Northern Ireland/Fulham 1 - Denmark 0 (That's gotta hurt, Vilhelm)
Poland 2 - Belgium 1
Portugal 1 - Armenia 0 (Allegations of a massacre are highly exaggerated)
Greece 5 - Malta 0
Turkey 2 - Norway 0
Lithuania 2 - Ukraine 0
Wales 2 - Ireland 2
Germany 4 - Cyprus 0
Moldova 3 - Hungary 0
Czech Republic 3 - Slovakia 1
Macedonia 2 - Croatia 0
Latvia 4 - Liechtenstein 0
Bulgaria 1 - Romania 0
Albania 2 - Belarus 4 (Albania did win most number of stolen watches)
Netherlands 1 - Luxembourg 0
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Don't you mess with my baby! Ain't nobody fuckin' with him except me! My baby ain't never hurt nobody! WHY??!! Oh Lawd, where's Rev. Al??
You have to love those local tv news interviews with the mothers of people who have clearly done something wrong. Yeah 45 witnesses may have seen Ray Ray shoot up the club but that don't mean he did nuthin'. He's a good boy who never got in trouble besides the 268 times he's been pulled in for questioning and the time he beat down that old woman for her baloney samich and her social security. Add Derek Jeter's mom to the Not My Baby group on Facebook.
Dorothy Jeter went off on a Daily News reporter who came to her house asking for comment on the tax cheat allegations against her son.
"He pays his taxes," Dorothy Jeter told the Daily News.Ok maybe she didn't say that last part but I'm sure she would have if she knew about it.
"My boy does everything right - everything right," she said at her New Jersey home. "He's paid taxes in New York for every doggone day he's been there."
"Do you have children?" she cried. "You know how hard it is to watch on the news that your son is a tax cheat?
"It kills me," she added. "You're going to give me a heart attack."
"This is worse then when I heard he gave that girl who can't act herpes."
Moms insists that Derek is a resident of Florida and not New York. Legal papers submitted by the state tax authorities rely in part on his statements professing love for the New York. In that case, I'm a resident of Gary and Flint. I love those cities!
Friday, November 16, 2007
Now Wisconsin knows how Indian casino gamblers feel. Payback's a muthafucka, ain't it?
Thursday, November 15, 2007
I always knew there was something off about the Australians besides their criminal nature. Now I know what it is. They hate freedom as well.
Santas in Sydney have been told to say "ha ha ha" instead of "ho ho ho" when out and about frequenting prositutes or taking orders from kids.
One disgruntled Santa told the [Daily Telegraph] a recruitment firm warned him not to use "ho ho ho" because it could frighten children and was too close to "ho", a US slang term for prostitute.Even the ho who runs the campaign against sexualizing kids called Kids Free 2B Kids said it was a joke. "Gimme a break, We are talking about little kids who do not understand that "ho, ho, ho" has any other connotation and nor should they."
I guess kids really aren't free 2B kids if they can't discover the true meaning of ho the same way they discover the true meaning of Christmas. Commie whore.
Wrong. It's mad cow. You'll get nothing and like it.
You know what else beeps when it backs up? The wahmbulance.
We might have to call in another one at the rate English government ministers and players keep crying over the influx of foreign players into the Premiership. Sports minister Gerry Sutcliffe and Liverpool's Steven Gerrard are calling for a quota on the amount of foreign players allowed for a club.
"We may need to have some sort of independent look at what needs to happen. We have got the best league in the world and it's great that we have got the talent that is there in terms of the Premier League.Interesting. Blame foreign players for England's lack of success and shit management. Are there a lack of good English players? Yes. There's no question about that. However it's a bit specious to blame England's mediocrity on the amount of foreign players playing in England.
"But obviously we need to see how that impacts on and affects the national team."
"I believe," he said, "that if foreigners do take over completely it will make things even worse for the national team." Gerrard backs a quota scheme, despite the difficulties of developing a system that complies with European and national laws.
Blame must start at the top with the FA which is a symbol of all that is wrong in English football. A misplaced sense of superiority combined with blinding incompetence. One only need look at the process used to choose the England manager along with the eventual choices. It's always a disaster from the start and they always rule out anyone who might have a chance of success for idiotic reasons. It seems similar to the NBA coaching merry-go-round where the same below-.500 donkeys always seem to get jobs.
Mediocrity is Job #1 in English soccer. If the manager is mediocre, there's little hope for success on the pitch. Time and time again, the FA picks managers who have limited success at the club level and I emphasize limited. Current manager Steve McClaren (affectionately known as McClown or McDonkey) was abysmal at Middlesbrough. He was so bad that a fan ran on the pitch, ripped up his season ticket and threw it at him. Clearly he was a man in need of a promotion and more responsibility.
Managers continue to pick players who don't perform simply because of their names. They're unwilling to drop under performing big name players who have no business on the field due to pressure from the FA and fans. Younger players with potential rarely get a chance. Sven Goran Eriksson was accused of using this selection policy as well however his current run with Manchester City shows that maybe it wasn't him that was the problem. It has become clear that he was forced to work with what he had and it wasn't much.
The influx on money from foreign ownership and television contracts has also increased the stakes and need for immediate success which limits the time young players have to develop whether English or foreign.
Perhaps players and management should look within themselves first before being so quick to cast the blame at others. Funny how the excuses are starting to flow even before England's crucial match with Croatia. Guess they want to have an excuse ready when they flame out and miss Euro 2008. They have no one to blame but themselves if they miss out.
"I want to become a new image of what a professional athlete is," Martin said. "I think presently in sports, you have the whole bravado, bling-bling, and it seems that that's the image that most of us look up to, and I don't know who set that image. I want to be a different image. I want to be an image that's positive for you long-term. ... That's one of my true motivations, is to be a different goal to reach versus just having a million homes and a million cars and all the jewelry in the world."
Um...what? Tell me, whats the difference in purchasing a million cars and jewelry and buying into a professional sports team? Is one huge self indulgence better than the other? How is he any different than the other athletes he is putting down while making himself out to be the ultimate role model?
"[It's] a chance to be a businessman, a leader, an innovator and a role model."
Man, Curtis is trying to make himself a saint for buying into a football team! Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with an athlete becoming an owner, I think its a great thing. Its his holier than thou reasons that get to me.
He says he wants to have a different image than the "bling bling" generation of role-models, but why is this any different from a gangsta rapper now getting his own glamour label through a big record company after he's "made it"?
It is good that Curtis wants to present a positive image to the kids, but surely there must be a better way than owning part of a football team. If he really wanted to reach people, he'd take that money and give it all to charity instead of indulging himself in a different way than all the other athletes he speaks of. Yes, I realize Curtis does a TON of charity work already...that isn't the point. The point is, he wants to help people by buying a football team, while pretending it is not a massive indulgence on his part and none of that makes sense.
In truth, if he wanted to help people he could take that football team purchasing money and give to the homeless more, build a shelter, buy a school more books, give more scholarships, start a business he can run that can help people, something, because indulging himself in sports entertainment while pretending he is better than his soon to be employees doesn't help anyone but himself. By owning a team, Curtis doesn't create a new role model for people to look up to, he will be nothing more than the sports world's Jay-Z.
From NY Daily News & Canadian Free Press
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
The point is that we need journalists. Sure, we kid them, but they're giving us the news that we need in order to engage in ill-informed sports banter. At the core of sports reporting, of course, is the idea that it is just that: reporting news events to a public that needs to be informed about news. And just like CNN doesn't have to pay the Kucinich campaign to let Candy Crowley eat danishes while taking notes on the Keebler Elf's latest speech about stardust vistors from the fifth dimension, sports journalists have never needed to pay sports teams or leagues for the privilege of reporting on their games.
Hell, even Mariotti gets a press pass allowing him to enter Soldiers Field without paying Da Bears or the NFL. And the same goes for the infinitely more talented Sun-Times news photographer who allows us to witness gritty, timeless images of triumph and defeat like that seen on the right. Honestly, could we truly appreciate the magic that is Rex Grossman without having seen him violated by a Packer? No, my friends, we could not. We simply could not understand his greatness without having viewed that picture. And we owe it all to a news photographer.
Unfortunately, the basic journalistic right of news photographers to document sporting events without having to pay off sports league suits may be in peril. The douches at Cricket Australia want to require photogs to pay a licensing fee to the organization in exchange for their press accreditation. In essence, they are requiring journalists to pay for the right to cover news. The response of the major news agencies has -- understandably -- been to boycott coverage of the current Test series between Australia and Sri Lanka. Why in god's name, they ask, should we pay to gather news? After all, it would set a terrible precedent. Yet Cricket Australia is persisting in its attempt to squeeze every dollar, pound, rand, and rupee out of the game, and AFP, Reuters, and the AP are continuing to boycott the Tests.
"Reuters remains adamant on its right to distribute sports news pictures freely," Monique Villa, the managing director of Reuters Media, told Reuters. "I met with Cricket Australia last Sunday in London and nothing has really changed. They want to control our news and who can receive it, which is totally unacceptable."
The biggest losers, of course, are that sorry number among us who happen to be cricket fans. And unforunately, it appears that the greedheadedness might not be limited to CA -- the BCCI, India's governing cricket board, apparently is as short-sighted as the Aussies. Which goes to prove the old axiom -- if the BCCI supports you, you know that you're wrong.
Lest you think that "it can't happen here," remember that Bud Selig and Gary Bettman bow to no one in their short-sighted pursuit of cash. Unless this is nipped in the bud Down Under, I fully expect that the American sports leagues are goling to begin charging journalists for the right to report sports news. And when that happens, instead of seeing glorious full-color pictures of Sexy Rexy being sodomized on the cover of USA Today, we're likely to see a lot of notices like this:
Don't say you weren't warned.
First Pacman and now Starbury? Carmelo Anthony must be rolling over in his grave or his pick. Late yesterday, Pacman copped a plea deal that will result in him getting probation in exchange for his testimony about Make It Rain night during the Black Super Bowl. Now Starbury has threatened to out Isiah Thomas after going AWOL and skipping last night's game against the Phoenix Suns.
Gout/Heart attack-in-waiting Eddy Curry told Starbury that both were pulled from the starting lineup of last night's game. Starbury went to the front of the plane (enroute to Phoenix) to speak with Isiah. Starbury emerged outraged and told the team that he wasn't suiting up if he wasn't playing. He then said,
"Isiah has to start me," Marbury fumed, according to the source. "I've got so much (stuff) on Isiah and he knows it. He thinks he can (get) me. But I'll (get) him first. You have no idea what I know."He proceeded to land in Phoenix and fly back to New York to impregnate interns like Jason Caffey until his situation is resolved.
What shit does he have? I would love to hear about Starbury, Isiah and Nate Robinson running the train on some intern in the back of Starbury's Escalade while Jim Dolan watches through the tinted window because they won't let him in.
Pacman and Starbury have forgotten what happpens to snitchers? I think it's time for another video. Some people might have to get dealt with.
ESPN reported that the Knicks were considering a contract buyout but the Daily News reports that Starbury could fly to LA and rejoin the team. Isiah also hopes to work things out.
"It seems like he and I kinda go through this every November," Thomas said. "And then a couple of weeks go by and we kinda kiss and make up and we get back to the business of trying to win basketball games. Hopefully, in the next couple of days this will be resolved."Then again, I'd be pissed if I had to start behind Mardy Collins. I mean he can't even spell Marty. Starting behind an illiterate and the off-brand Rolando Blackmon is no way to roll when you're Starbury.
"You realize people who aren’t into soccer see a black man on your back with two cannons pointing at his head, right?"
The new owners of the team have a 51% controlling stake and each member of MyFootballClub will vote on whom the team should buy to move the team forward in the future and other ownership matters.
Crazy what can happen when a group of fans get together to make a change in sport. The fans are the ones that really put the money in the player's pockets, it seems only fair that the fans should be able to make a decision as to how the team is run. These people took that idea and ran with it.
If only this could happen here in the States. Imagine if a group of NBA fans got together and pooled enough money to purchase the Seattle Supersonics to keep them in Seattle, or if a group of MLB fans pooled their resources to purchase the Chicago Cubs? How much better or worse could either one of those organizations be run? Certainly, neither could be run as poorly as they are now.
Here's to hoping one day, us fans in the United States wise up and realize that we can do something like this and keep teams out of the hands of the Dan Snyders of the world. Individually we are weak, together, we are strong...or something like that.
From BBC Sport
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
"I am comfortable in saying, 'Yes. I'm pleading guilty to the manufacturing and distribution of anabolic steroids,' and I've agreed to take that plea agreement," said Jacobs.
How 'bout that huh? Maybe Belichick and the Colts aren't the only cheaters out there in the NFL? Perhaps Romo and his 'boys have had a little chemical assistance to help them to their NFC best 8-1 record? Everyone knows you don't get a smile like this without some sorta drug. The Cowboys have denied this man's involvement in the organization, but as we know from other steroid scandals, players often have their own trainers to hook them up with the good stuff.
The Deuce will be watching for more info about this...if anyone has any tips, let us know.
The initials that were punched on the steel beam are said to be “JPL” (his dad) “CTL” (his mom) and “RNL” (this guy who wants the beam).
The markings are near eye level (I was about 13 years old at the time), on one of the ramps that people use to go to the upper decks and I think that the column that has our initials is near the end of a ramp, as opposed to the middle of a ramp.
The Deuce thinks its pretty neat that this guy's dad put his whole family on a beam in the stadium. Its sort of a modern twist to people carving their names in trees. Still...its vandalism, and it should not be condoned in any way shape or form. Someone should find this beam, find this man, and fine him for turning the great Shea Stadium into a ghetto slum. Have you no honor?!?!?!Link to A Piece of Shea Stadium
The Old Rich People are back and they come out firing with a scathing review of the state of the respective NFC & AFC Wests, in the form of a NFL commissioner's statement being read at a press conference. Funny stuff as always.
What you see before you is a rather inspired new logo for the new look Deuce by fellow blogger and friend of DoD, Liston of Introducing Liston. I rather enjoy the Kiefer Sutherland riding a unicorn photoshop there. I also got a little chubby when I saw the poo, it's been our first week without poo on the site and strangely enough, I miss it already.
I need to know why the wallet is there though. See, that right there is the artistic part of it all. The part that begs the viewer to question, to think, to come back again and again to see if the answers will appear before them. Its much like the Mona Lisa smile in that sense. Sadly, while it won't be our new logo, it will forever hold a place in our hearts and blog.
We're actually working on a contest to get a new logo, we're just waiting for prizes to be confirmed, stay tuned kids and get your pens and pencils ready. In the meantime, Liston has posted again, and as always, its worth your time to jump in and read his non sequiturs.